Applying The Secret To Relationships

by Juan
(New Hampshire)

My wife recently left me and told me that she couldn't be married to me anymore. A few days later I started to read The Secret. After reading the book and watching the movie, I put The Secret to use everyday including gratitude, a vision board and visualization.

I was recently drawn to your website and read how The Secret cannot be used to "bring my wife back to me."

This was somewhat disheartening to hear, although it did fall in line with the feeling growing inside me, that if I want her back, I have to let her go and make myself the best person I can be.

My question has to do with visualization and what I've asked for, rec'd and believe in.

I have been visualizing staying and living in my current house with my two boys and my wife. I have also visualized and made Mind Movies of me coming home to my wife in the kitchen, waiting for me, and my boys running up to me. Amongst other things that include my wife and boys.

I have changed my attitude and thoughts from pessimistic to optimistic and am truly giving thanks everyday for everything I have, and everyone I meet.

Prior to reading your website my intention was to use The Secret to save my marriage and help restore my relationship with my wife.

If my dream is to stay in my current house with my two boys regardless of the state of my marriage, how can I apply The Secret to that end?

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

To set the record straight, I have never said that you cannot reconcile a marriage by using the Law of Attraction. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

But what I have said is this,….

You cannot manifest in another’s reality, by adjusting your thoughts and feelings

The Law of Attraction will align events in your life that match your predominant thoughts and feelings. So adjusting your thoughts and feelings can only manifest a change in events in your life.

Of course, a change in your life experience will cause a change in the experience of another, but that change that they experience, must match their thoughts, not yours.

They must be a cooperative part of the whole manifestation process.

You cannot change someone’s behaviour, by focusing on behaviour unwanted.

The Law of Attraction will align events in your life that match your predominant thoughts and feelings. So by focusing your thoughts and feelings on behaviour unwanted, can only manifest unwanted behaviour.

Of course, someone offering you unwanted behaviour, may be viewed as someone who has changed the way they act, but that change must match their thoughts, so that they can manifest a match to your energy.

They must be a cooperative part of the whole manifestation process.

You cannot change someone’s behaviour, by focusing on a ‘need’ for change.

The Law of Attraction will align events in your life that match your predominant thoughts and feelings. So by focusing your thoughts and feelings on a ‘need’ for something, can only manifest a greater feeling of ‘need’.

You see, everything must be in harmony. Everything must match, in order for all focused thoughts and feelings to be manifested.

So how can you reconcile a marriage by using the Law of Attraction?

If everything must be in harmony, so that all focused thoughts and feelings can be manifested. Doesn’t it make sense that if you only thought and felt about the ‘wanted’ behaviour of another, then the other, as long as they were able to match your energy, would have to manifest this wanted experience.

This is the part of The Secret that so many people miss.

Lee Brower talks about this in The Secret when he tells the story of the Gratitude Rock. Many people don’t really understand the process of this, but it works in exactly the same way as I have pointed out.

If you only thought and felt about the ‘wanted’ behaviour of another, or the parts of them that you were grateful for, then the other, as long as they were able to match your energy, would have to manifest more things for you to feel grateful about.

However, I must point something out here…

This is not a definitive formula for ‘getting what you want’ out of a relationship, because there is one sticking point.

They must be a cooperative part of the whole manifestation process.

They must be able to match your energy, and this is the one thing that is out of your control.

But assuming that they have matched your good energy in the past, and you have manifested happy times in the past, it must be possible for you to find harmony again.

If they cannot match your positive energy, and manifest the good things that you are focusing on, they will leave your experience altogether, as two opposing energies cannot exist at the same place.

So on now to your question about applying The Secret to stay in your current house.

Well to be honest, you adopt a similar process, you focus on the desire you most wish for, decide that that is the experience that you shall manifest, and adopt an attitude of gratitude, as if that experience already existed.

Do not focus on the ‘need’ to be there, as that shall manifest more reasons to feel need.

Do not focus on the ‘want’ to be there, as that shall manifest more reasons to feel want.

Do not focus on the ‘obstacles’ of being there, as that shall manifest more obstacles to overcome.

Simply be there, and think and feel the gratitude of that future experience, now.

If you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…





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