Attracting A Future Romance

by Victoria Betterton
(Derbyshire, UK)



I am 30 with in the month of September I have finished a 6 month contract singing on a cruise ship, ended a 2 and a half year relationships with a guy and moved from living in LA to back home with my parents in England.

I have always used The Secret for the past 10 maybe 15 years and I truly believe in all aspects of it, but because of all this change I have days of doubt?? frustration!!! and sadness!!!

I want to go back on a new contract in the new year or ASAP, find love, get married and have babies!!!

As I am jobless and living back with my parents can u give me tips for remaining on a good frequency and getting my dreams to me sooner rather than later????

I do work out and try to start and each day manifesting and being positive.

I just feel lost and pray to be busy again instead of plodding from one day to the next.

All my Friends are married with Kid etc and I sometimes feel lost and question what I did wrong.

I really want a new job, True Love and a more settled secure life.

Any guidance would be amazing :))

Kind Regards


Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

The film The Secret has done a fantastic job of spreading the message of the Law of Attraction, but unfortunately, the methods they suggest in the film do not cover every aspect of how the Law works, and all too often I hear of people having tried the manifestation exercises suggested in the film, who just end up becoming frustrated with the lack of the appearance of their things.

One of the most common ways that is suggested to apply the Law of Attraction would be visualization, and once you understand how visualization works, it is easy to see why it is used so often.

When you visualize your desires, it is not the clarity of ‘vision’ that attracts the reality, it is the clarity of feeling. This is because the Law of Attraction is a vibrational Law, and the reality you align to will depend on the frequency of your thoughts and feelings.

This alignment to frequency accurately describes the process of the Law of Attraction, and the process follows these steps.

What you predominately think and feel that makes up your frequency, and to that frequency the Law of Attraction molds a reality, this alignment offers to you more experiences to help you maintain your thoughts and emotions.

So thoughts and feelings about your now experiences will cause you to align to new experiences that help you to maintain the way you think and feel.

This is why people who have money tend to manifest more money, and why it is often said that money goes to money. It does not mean that people with money are more fortunate, it just means that their thoughts and emotions about their now experience with money will cause them to align to new experiences that help them to maintain the way they think and feel.

But this is not a power that is restricted to the few, and with effort, and by adopting the same way of thinking of feeling as someone with money, someone without money can just as easily move towards the same type of money experiences. The trouble is that people with lack tend to think about their lack, and if being without is their frequency they tend to align to more experiences that lack.

I use money here as an example of how our thoughts and feelings are reflected in our experiences, as it is an easy thought equals reality equation to understand, but I could have easily used any other life experience to demonstrate this.

It is easy to see that if our experiences were good, our thoughts and feelings about that experience would be positive, and as a result we would attract more positive experiences to match our way of thinking.

And as this is Law, all thought and feeling, positive or negative, shall lead to the corresponding new reality, so that as much as we can understand that good experiences, lead to good thought, which lead to more good experiences, we also have to accept that if our experiences were bad, and our thoughts and feelings about that experience were negative, as a result we would attract more negative experiences to match our way of thinking.

From this we can see that the Law of Attraction aligns a reality for us to experience that matches the way we predominantly think and feel, regardless of whether that reality is wanted or not.

So the question about applying the Law of Attraction must go like this….

How do we live through a poor experience, and think and feel in a way to attract something better?

This is something that many people find difficult, because to do this we must stop thinking in reaction to our reality and instead think in contemplation of our desires, regardless of the now that we see around us.

You demonstrate this difficulty when you say, “because of all this change I have days of doubt?? frustration!!! and sadness!!!”, and my concern is that thoughts of doubt, being frustrated and feeling sad can only lead to a reality with more negativity, challenges and difficulties, a long way from the new contract, love, marriage and motherhood you seek.

So how would you align to the experience that you would like, rather than attracting what you fear?

Traditionally you would be told to visualize your desires, and in truth there is nothing too much wrong with practicing visualization.

To use visualization you would normally sit for a time while you imagined you new desired reality, and in your focus, try to emulate the thoughts and feelings you would have when this new reality was actually in existence.

As I said previously, it is not the clarity of the image of your new reality that is important, it is the clarity of thought and feelings about these new experiences.

But what would be the point of visualizing your ideals and getting into the vibration of your desires, only to go back to the rest of your day with doubt, frustration and sadness. Don’t forget it is your predominate thought that acts upon this Law, and 15 minutes of constructive thought will struggle against a waking day of destruction.

It seems only logical that to attract a new and wanted reality, you must first change the way you feel about what you now have.

I know that it does not seem too progressive to simply learn to like what you have in order to get something new and more desirable, but unless you start thinking positively about now, you will simply align to more of the same.

The Law of Attraction responds to what you predominately think and feel, and the reason so many people have so much trouble getting out of their unwanted existences, is because what they experience controls what they think, and as they fight these unlikable things, they wrap themselves up in the vibration of them, only to attract more and more of the same.

One of the simplest ways to change your thoughts now would be to focus on all the things you have right now that you could consider positive.

Invest in a book and write a list of’ “things I Like about now….”

What have you now that makes you feel good? Your loving family, your gift of singing, your friendships and their families, your beliefs about your abilities, your hope, your excitement, your personality, your uplifting attitude, these are just a few things I can hear in your question, and I am sure you can come up with many more.

Once you have your list, start and end each day focusing on these good things you have, until they become very familiar to you.

You could also add some positive experiences about your past, this is particularly important if you are looking at a certain part of your past that you did not like. Somehow, try to find the positives of all experiences.

What did the experience of your relationship give you, what did the experience of the cruise ship give you, how about living in LA? What are the positives about you not having a child yet, not being married yet, and not being in work at the moment?

Add these things to your list, and continue to start and end each day focusing on these good things you have, until they become very familiar to you.

Then, when you think in doubt…… focus on your list.

When you experience frustration…… focus on your list

And when you feel sadness…… focus on your list.

Use what you have now that makes you feel good, to redefine how you think and feel, and you shall change your vibration and your point of attraction so that your doubt, frustration and sadness will be replaced by optimism, excitement and happiness, and the Law of Attraction shall align you to the matching experiences of these positive things.

I hope this helps Victoria, you may also like to try my Unlock The Power WorkBook, which takes you through a step-by-step process to do this, and continues by helping you to build positive intentions through seemingly negative experiences.

With Gratitude

John Peace

30-Days To Raise Your Vibration
The Unlock The Power WorkBook

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Nov 24, 2014
Great advice
by: Anonymous

Thank you for the question Victoria and thank you for the advice John.

I am currently in a similar situation and am struggling to stay positive. Often I am overcome by negative emotions and wondered how to think and feel beyond my current circumstances to produce a new future.

You answered that wonderfully.

Thank you Victoria and was just what I needed at the moment.

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