Attracting A Spouse
by Shannin Capoferri
(NJ)
I work weird hours so I don't go out much, all my friends are married and I haven't really been to social with anyone... I tend to be anti-social.. I am 36 and family and others are pressuring me to get married and have babies...
I am content not being married and not having babies...
If I did meet someone I am not against getting married, it just doesn't rule my life..
I don't know how to be more inviting? I get shy around strangers, and when I am friendly, I am disconnected and not affectionate..
As I get older I feel I need more of a connection with someone before I feel affectionate.
Maybe I have trust issues? But I need to know how to attract good things...
Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply
When I read your question it’s almost as if it was written by two different people, as if in one breath you are happily unmarried, and in the other breath you seem to think you have relationship issues, and can’t find the right partner.
So, I think the first thing to address is, what do you want?
I understand that you are feeling pressure from your family to settle down and start a family, but it’s perfectly OK for you not do this.
This is your life, your time, your journey, and as it is you who rides the wave of this precious experience, and as this is yours, it is only for you to decide, what it is you want to experience.
All to often we see people trying to change others, whether it is romantically, socially, religiously or politically. What people fail to understand is that, what they so vehemently try to change, they actually reinforce.
You see this with children when they are told no, it reinforces their desire to do something.
So it will be that the more pressure exerted on you to marry, will only manifest a stronger willingness in you, not to marry.
Perhaps this is why you disconnect from affection, and why you are not very inviting?
So what is it that you want?
Is it to be happily unmarried until a time that you desire to be married, and take a break from the pressure being exerted on you, or is it to find a partner and settle down?
Whatever it is that you want you need to start to feel that in you now. Take sometime away for yourself and use your imagination to be exactly what you want to be.
If you wish to feel no pressure from your family and friends, then see them in your mind as people who support your wishes, as people who see that you have your own best interests in hand, and with time they shall become that to you.
If you wish to feel inviting, confident and affectionate around others, then see yourself as inviting, confident and affectionate in your mind, and with time that shall become your experience.
If you wish to be in an affectionate, intimate and loving relationship, then see yourself already in this affectionate, intimate and loving relationship, and with time that shall become your experience.
I would suggest that you sign up for my Free Unlock The Power Mini-Course, you’ll uncover some of the negative issues you way have, and have the tools to deal with them, as well as discovering some powerful ways to set and attain your goals.
I would also suggest that you take some time out to meditate. By meditating you’ll become far more in tune with yourself and the world, you will also gain more confidence.
I use Vipassana Meditation in my Law of Attraction training program, as well as some really effective visualization exercises. You can Join The Full Course Here. Or if you would like to look into meditation further, take a look at the UrbanDharma.org Website for some great information. You can also download an eBook on Vipassana called Mindfulness in Plain English
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