Fear of Letting Go

I wrote 3 months ago asking for advice on attracting my estranged husband back to me. As you explained I cannot change his reality. And the fact of the matter is he has not come home. He's been gone 4.5 months now and I'm getting to the point where I now want to accept this rather than continue trying to "visualise" him back to me.


So I have a few questions:

Firstly, through my studying of the LOA I have come to the conclusion that the Universe is God. So how can God let a Christian marriage break up and not be mended? He joined us in marriage and he wants all his children to be happily united in marriage, so how will He not help me restore our broken marriage? or maybe He is trying to help me, and if I stop believing we can have a happy ending, if I give up too soon, I'll never know how it could have been, maybe I just need to keep believing, loving him, wanting him and hoping? How can I know that this is not a test for me and that if I give up now, my reward might have been just around the corner (like the gold digger from N.Hill's Think and Grow Rich). It’s against God's wishes for marriage to end so why should I give up on ours?

Secondly, if I give up visualising my husband coming back to me, might I unwillingly be doing something to negatively alter any possible positive outcome of our relationship?

I'm afraid that if I stop filling my mind with positive images of us being together and let in images of divorce and abandoning hope of us ever getting back together, that this will be what will happen.

Thirdly, a part of me feels like it's time to let go because I feel I have done all I can now. I've visualised, I've scripted, I've prayed, I've told him I'm here, willing to do whatever it is I can do yet he shows no sign of interest in returning. But I'm filled with such sorrow that our love should end, I know that with what I've learned our relationship could be wonderful and of course there's the pain of rearing our two precious babies in a separated home.

And I really want to let go but I’m finding it so difficult. So how can I let go of our relationship and all our broken dreams? How can i let go of the pain and sorrow I feel for our daughters? And how do I mend my broken heart?

Thank you john for your support

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

To begin with, I would agree with your analogy of the Universe being God, but unfortunately religion causes more confusion as to what God is.

If you follow a religion then you will have an understanding that if you are good, and follow the rules, you shall reap the rewards offered by a God of judgement. However I would have a view that there is no God of judgement, but a God who will love and adore you, no matter what.

This God gives you freedom of choice, and throughout your life experience you have the opportunity to exercise this freedom of choice, and to create any reality you desire.

To do this, God has set up certain Universal Laws, and all the experiences you have, come to you through the operation of these Universal Laws.

You are here to create you, and your experiences depend on your focused thoughts and emotions, or your vibration, and it is through one of God’s Universal Laws, the Law of Attraction, that your experiences are brought to you, as a match to your vibration.

This is no test, this is your creation, and until you embrace and love your creation, you will have trouble embracing and loving any of your creations.

Loving and embracing your reality as it is now, is the answer to all of your questions.

You cannot focus your thoughts and feelings unwanted things, and create a wanted reality, that would defy Law

By visualising your husband coming back to you, you are activating the strongest feeling associated with your reality, your focused thoughts and feelings of being without, and as a result, you shall experience a reality of without.

But if you love and embrace this experience, you deactivate your focused thoughts and feelings, which allows you to create a reality of your choosing.

If your focused thoughts and feeling are on sorrow, you shall experience a reality of sorrow. But if you love and embrace this experience by finding the best thought you can, you deactivate your focused thoughts and feelings, which allows you to create a reality of your choosing.

If your focused thoughts and feeling are on the pain of rearing our two precious babies, you shall experience a reality of the pain of rearing our two precious babies. But if you love and embrace this experience by finding the best thought you can, you deactivate your focused thoughts and feelings, which allows you to create a reality of your choosing.

By loving and embracing your current reality, and reaching for the best thoughts and feelings you can, you will find the strength to let go of your relationship, recover from your broken dreams, let go of the pain and sorrow you feel for your daughters, and mend your broken heart.

You cannot do enough visualising, scripting or praying to change his reality, as again, this would defy Law. His reality follows the same rules and principles, and he is blessed with the free will to create his experience, whether he does it knowingly or now.

The power you have, is the power of your mind, and through that power you can create any experience. But how that experience will come to you cannot know, but if you just take the time to align with the best thoughts and feelings that you can, then your experience shall be a match to this vibration, instead of more pain, loneliness and heartache.

Make lists of all the best parts of now, the best and highest thoughts of your ‘now experience’, and visualise, script and pray on these thoughts, and as your vibration changes, so shall your experience, it has to, it is Law.

I would also suggest that you read Neale Donald Walsch’s book, Conversations with God, it will give you a deeper understanding of God and our purpose, it’s a wonderful book.

If you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…


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Comments for Fear of Letting Go

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May 25, 2010
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the same story
by: Anonymous

You'll be absolutely fine in a few weeks time I had the same problem and its better to let go and stay positive, one day you are going to meet someone very special and laugh at how you've been so miserable before.. Stop being scared and just have fun, do the things you like.

Jan 13, 2011
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The positive side of any situation
by: Anonymous

Hi John. Thanks for the guidance and advise you provide those of us who are willing to transform our lives.

After reading this article, I am wondering if in order to "deactivate your focused thoughts and feelings" it would be a good idea of thinking of this experience as a learning lesson that allows the individual to grow, so the current reality is the result of a process that the individual attracted in order to understand how the universal laws work, which places the individual in a higher stage of spiritual development and is something very positive; this is also can be seen as an opportunity for experimenting the compassion towards oneself because if I did attract these conditions, which I don't like now, I did not do it intentionally and at the time when I did it, it was the best I could do, and being now aware of the power I have, I can start to use that same power in a more positively controlled way.

I think that the ego tries it's best to avoid the change to happen by bringing thoughts about moral, ethics, good practice, common sense, etc. and that feeling of attachment that refuses to go to the extent that when we tell our subconscious to let go that person, our thoughts become very limited.

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