Help My Husband To Spend His Time Productively
My husband and I have known each other for many years. We got married 3 months back. He finds it difficult to structure his time productively when not on a job. So for him, weekends are lazy, watching TV endlessly, or sleeping. I am busy with an upcoming exam. I want him either to work on his study, his future plans or go out and have fun with other friends. But...he does not.
I get angry, suppress the anger, wait ...and then start the discussion about it.
Eventually, I end up crying and he ends up withdrawing. For him its not a THAT big an issue. For me, it’s a threat to his personal growth, as I have seen him getting drowned in inertia in the past, which had affected his life a lot.
I have realised that my accusations, tears just tell the message that he is not good enough and that’s why he just withdraws from the discussion. He has told me not to make it THAT big an issue, and that he will try to improve.
I know what I should stop doing. But I don’t know how to help him improve. It will need lot of patience and on some days like above I don’t have any. So the cycle repeats.
Please help.Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply
The Law of Attraction brings to us our experiences, based on our vibration, and our vibration is made up of our thoughts and feelings. So whatever you think and whatever you feel, shall become your experience, whether you want it or not.
It is a pointless exercise to try and change your experiences, without changing your thoughts and feeling, for as strongly as you push against an unwanted reality, that unwanted reality, pushes back just as much.
You create your reality, and whatever you offer as a vibration, becomes your reality.
There is no way that you can change your husbands behaviour, unless you change your thoughts and feelings, and as much as you push him, he has little choice, but to push back.
Let me try to explain what I mean….
The Law of Attraction brings to you your experiences, based on your vibration. Your vibration is made up of your thoughts and feelings, and whatever you think, and whatever you feel, shall become your experience, whether you want it or not.
So what is your vibration on the subject of your husband’s behaviour?
“He finds it difficult to structure his time productively…”
“For him, weekends are lazy, watching TV endlessly, or sleeping...”
“I want him to work on his study, his future plans or go out and have fun with other friends. But...he does not….”
“I get angry, suppress the anger, wait ...and then start the discussion about it…”
“I end up crying and he ends up withdrawing...”
“It’s a threat to his personal growth.”
“My accusations, tears just tell the message that he
is not good enough…”
“He just withdraws from the discussion...”
Now if these are the thoughts and feelings that make up your vibration, your husband has a subconscious choice to make, either stay in your experience and be a match to your vibration, or leave your experience because he cannot be a match.
Now you may try to tell me that you are only telling me about your experience, and that your husband began to behave this way before you began to think and feel this way.
Ok, I agree it may seem this way, but just remember, none of this happened overnight.
This has been a gradual process, a process by which your husband offered a behaviour, and as a result, you offered both thought and feeling, you made this ‘unwanted behaviour’ a part of your vibration, which then gave your husband the choice, match the vibration you are offering with more unwanted behaviour, or get out of the experience. I guessed he matched your vibration.
That then left you with more unwanted behaviour, so you reacted by thinking and feeling more about it, which then gave your husband more choice, match the vibration you or offering with even more unwanted behaviour, or get out of the experience. I guessed he matched your vibration.
That then left you with even more unwanted behaviour, so you reacted by thinking and feeling even more about it, which then gave your husband even more choice, match the vibration you or offering with more and more unwanted behaviour, or get out of the experience. I guessed he matched your vibration.
I could go on, but I think you get the picture.
It is, and always will be the case that whatever you vibrate shall become your experience, therefore if you wish to change your experience, you must change your vibration.
Changing the way you think and feel about a subject that is so prevalent in your reality is no easy thing, but if you wish to change your experiences, it is well worth the effort.
You need to align yourself to the very best of your husband, the very best thoughts about him, the very best things he does and the very best way he makes you feel.
You need to un-align yourself to the worst of him, you need to ignore, blank off, think no more and feel no more about any unwanted pattern of behaviour, that he offers.
You need to think and feel the very best of this relationship, you need to vibrate at a place that matches all you desires, which will then give your husband a choice, either match the vibration you or offering, or get out of the experience.
My guess is, that he’ll become a perfect match.Law-of-Attraction-Guide.com
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