How To Use The Law of Attraction To Bring Her Back

by Leah
(Georgia, USA)

I met this woman in April at an online dating site for lesbians. We began emailing and then decided to meet and there was immediate chemistry between us.

She lives about an hour and a half away from me, but we were together almost every weekend. It was wonderful. We always had a great time together and we were both so happy being together. I could feel and sense a definite connection.

She had a lot going on in her life at the time, owning a business that was suffering, buying her first home, and her best friend's husband is dying of Leukaemia.

Suddenly, one day about two weeks ago, she called me and said that this relationship was just not doing it for her right now. She said there was just too much going on. But, she did say that she wanted to continue to get to know me and that she would revisit the relationship at some point.

I'm afraid that I will lose her forever. I'm trying to respect her wishes by giving her some time and space, so I have not tried to contact her. But she hasn't called me either. I'm afraid she will forget me.

Can the Law of Attraction help me bring her back to me?

You say that if we focus on the things we do not have that it will only bring more lack into our lives. But, everything we focus on that we want in our lives, are things that we currently lack, right?

That is confusing and contradictory to me, I don't understand.

Please help me.

I know that our feelings are mutual, I can just feel it. How can I get her back?

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

In Neale Donald Walsch’s book, Conversations with God, it was put like this…

“You can have anything you want, as long as you don’t want it.”

I don’t know if that confuses it even more, but it’s a good starting point for me.

Most peoples experiences are made up of the things they have, and the things they do not have, and their feelings about their experiences bring them to the conclusion that some of the things they have are desirable, and other things undesirable, and that some of the things they do not have are desirable, and other things undesirable.

We live in a world of contrast of the desirable and the undesirable.

It is the Law of Attraction that aligns us to these things as a response to our focused thoughts and feelings, whether these things are desirable or not.

The Law of Attraction does not align us what we desire, it aligns us to what we focus our thoughts and feelings on.

For example, if someone is in debt, it would be easy to understand that they desired to have more money, but because they focus their thoughts and feelings on not having enough money, or not being able to pay their bills, the Law of Attraction aligns them to events and circumstances to match their thoughts and emotions.

So how could someone change this reality?

Most of us, if not all of us, would prefer our experiences to be made up of only the desirable things to us, whether we have them now, or not, and as the Law of Attraction aligns us to the things we focus our thoughts and feeling on, the very best way to change our experience, would be to change our focus.

Of the things we have, if we spend more time focusing on what we desire, than what we do not desire, more of our desires will be manifested. And the very best way to focus on these desired experiences, would be in gratitude for the good things we have, and use this gratitude to control our thoughts about the undesirable experiences we were having.

In other words, focusing on what we liked now, and when ever a thought came to mind that contradicted these good things, replace that thought with thoughts about the good things now.

However, many people do not do it this, what they try to do is look at their now experience, see the undesirable parts of it, and then select an experience from out of their now reality to replace it with.

They focus on the things they want, that they consider, will change an undesirable now experience.

On the face of it, this sounds fine, but there is an underlying problem with this way of thinking.

You see, the Law of Attraction aligns our experiences based on our predominant thoughts and feelings, and if you focus your thoughts and feelings on what it is you want, as a need to change an experience you have, the Law of Attraction has to manifest events and circumstance to cause you to want more of this experience, as well as events and circumstance to cause you to need more change to this experience you’re having now.

If your focus is on the things you want and need, then in order for you to want and need, you have to be without the things you want and need.

But, that does not mean that you do not focus on the desires you wish to have, but you must do it in a way that your thoughts and feelings match having these things now, not match not having these things now.

It’s the difference between the feelings of excitement, and the feelings of frustration.

If you are excited at experiencing your desires, you are much nearer to them vibrationaly than feeling frustrated about them not turning up.

This is why visualising has been such a useful tool to getting the things you wish for, as when you visualize, you get into the feeling of having these things now, which brings you much closer to that experience.

I guess that what it is that you are trying to do, is trick your mind into thinking and feeling that it is experiencing all it wishes to experience, and as it revels in this imaginary experience, the Law of Attraction responds by aligning the reality to match.

So what is it that you desire to experience?

Again you have to be careful here, as you are choosing an experience, not an event, a circumstance or a person. These are not experiences in themselves, they are sources of experiences, and as such, cannot be aligned by you.

You choose the experience, and trick your mind into thinking and feeling that it is experiencing that experience now, and as it revels in this imaginary experience, the Law of Attraction responds by aligning the reality to match.

How, when, where and with whom, it not your domain, as to think any of these things would be allowing you to feel the lack of what it is you want.

Let go of the control, and match the desire, and everything else shall just line up.

If you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…


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Comments for How To Use The Law of Attraction To Bring Her Back

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Sep 19, 2010
Thankyou LOA for saving my life!
by: Jenna

I have been reading a lot of the answers to the relationship questions this morning and can already feel my vibration raising to match my desires as all the information subconsciously sinks in.

I ended my relationship 4.5 months ago now, completely against my wishes, I loved her more than I've ever loved anyone. But she hurt me at the very beginning because she still had unresolved feelings for her ex who cheated on her repeatedly and left her in a complete mess.

That led me to start having negative thoughts/feelings about her leaving me/hurting me again and they snowballed and it eventually got to the point where I knew she was going to dump me sooner or later, so I ended it first as a safety thing to save me any more pain.

I don't know if she was upset or anything because I completely cut all contact so she would have no inkling of how much I was hurting. I blamed her for all the failings but now know that it was my fault for letting the negative take over.

It's not easy to change it to positive when you've been hurt, but with practise it can be done. By being certain that you deserve the best of the best of the best at all times, completely and whole heartedly, no matter what, I believe you will never be hurt again.

I read about the law of attraction every day, have been doing for about 5 years now, especially in relationships. I find it so interesting and it's helped me tremendously, I really don't know where I would be without it now, probably crouching in a corner somewhere, anxious, afraid and desperate. Maybe suicidal. That's how relationship failures have made me feel in the past.

I'm in a relatively good place at the moment. I want her back...but not desperately. I look after myself over anyone else now...positive selfishness. If we were to give it another go, I know in my heart that I'd be able to keep it alive, the growing positiveness in me would do that. It could even flip the coin completely and lead me to believe that she is not good enough for me. And I could end up moving on to bigger and better things, leaving her feeling exactly the way I've felt over her.

I would never want to do that to anybody though. That's not me. I care for people, feelings, life.

Anyway, I've told her I still love her and I've left it at that, if she comes back, she comes back. If not, I see it as her loss now. This is the place where everyone needs to be after a break-up.'re amazing!

You deserve everything you wish for in a relationship, without a shadow of a doubt.

Sep 27, 2011
Thank U
by: Angie

Thank you very much for this comment. I am dealing with this since I split with my boyfriend 6 months ago.

It's hard to remember that if this happened it could be because something better will be arriving for both of us, even if it is not getting back together.

And we have to remember.. IF he can be without you, then you can be without him also.

Hoping we can all focus in our dreams and become them reality :)

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