I Think I Attracted Divorce
(Philadelphia, PA, USA)
I am new to the LOA, but after having read numerous books, and found invaluable information on this site as to how to apply it, I believe that my desire for solitude unintentionally lead to my divorce.
I came from a troubled home, and rather than go into details about that, I should just mention that ever since I was a child, I have been dreaming of solitude. In order to escape a home in which there was endless screaming, temper tantrums, control and manipulation, I went to boarding school at the age of 16, where I found my peace.
I always enjoyed living alone in school, then college until I met my now ex-husband. When married, I was overwhelmed by the amount of attention he needed, the conflicts with his family and my struggle to carve out a little space for myself where I could be alone. Over the years, I fantasized about having a place of my own. When things got tough, I would retreat into my own inner world, and just be inside my perfect, calm, safe little place.
I never had a clearly defined idea of what this house looked like, but was very excited by the solitude it offered me and it always felt good to be there. In other words, my love for solitude, and the feelings I was experiencing thinking about this place, must have attracted solitude into my life.
I should mention, that I never attracted this perfect little home, I only attracted the solitude I enjoyed in it. I am not sure why.
Now that I am divorced, I still crave a home of my own, which I no longer have. The feeling of loving to be alone is still very much alive in me, but I don't know how to attract the actual home into my life. I can clearly imagine the details of my home (I have been practicing this for years), but somehow the home never materializes only the much appreciated solitude.
Any ideas how I can attract a home of my own?