I've been studying law of attraction for over a year now and finally was able to manifest the ideal partner for me. Now I find myself in old repetitive relationship patterns (and thoughts) that have nothing to do with the man I am with now. When he talks (usually about serious topics) I don't hear what he is saying, I hear what past failed relationship boyfriends have said.
I understand that if I focus on the negative thoughts my mind conjures up, then that is what will happen. So I my question is...how do I stop or get rid of the old habit of thought before I loose him?
I find that I am able to recognize that the thoughts I am having have nothing to do what he said or meant to say, but my reaction comes from the thoughts in my head. I can't seem to control it. Now that we are getting more and more close it is getting harder and harder for me to hide from him. I want these thoughts to go away, I want to believe that he does love me and won't do anything to hurt me, but I can't seem to let go of the past pain/hurts.
Is this something that just takes time to get over? I've read Eckhart Tolle's The power of NOW and have been trying to stay present as much as possible, but that fear is all consuming. I find that I have to take a day or two before I respond to him about any serious topic. If I respond right away, it comes from a very bad place, but if I wait a day or so I can think more clearly and see what he was really trying to say (without my mind's negative filter).
Do I need to analyse and bring up old childhood memories to relapse this fear? I thought I worked through most of these insecurities throughout numerous failed attempts at relationships this year, but now that I found someone I really care about and can see myself with for a very long time, I am scared these thoughts are going to cause me to push him away. I know that fear contradicts what I am trying to do with law of attraction, but I don't know how to get rid of it. I don't even understand where it comes from. I am very successful in all areas of my life, but seem to have this hang up when it comes to romantic relationships.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
It is so good to hear from someone who has had so much positive stuff going on, and it is so good that you are aware of these thoughts, and what they can bring.
It seems that you are following old patterns based on passed experiences, which as you are aware, will lead you to a similar outcome.
There is a great clip in the film The Secret which may help you with the answer, it goes something like this.....
“Sometimes people will say, ‘those people at work are so negative,’ or ‘the man I live with is so angry,’ or ‘my children are so worrisome to me,’ and we say, ‘you must orient yourself to the best part of those people who surround you.’
‘We encourage that you get a notebook and you make a list of the positive aspects of the people you spend a lot of time with.’
There could be someone that you have a terrible experience with, a terrible relationship with. And in the privacy of your own mind, and with quite a bit of work we will admit, as you focus on things that you like most, those people will become that mostly to you.
And even though you cannot create in their reality, if they are in a mood, or an attitude that doesn’t match the mood and attitude that you have about them, they’ll zig, while you zag.
Law of Attraction will not put you in the same space together, your frequencies don’t match up.
If you knew your potential to feel good, you would ask no one to be different, so that you can feel good. You would free yourself of all that cumbersome impossibility, of needing to control the world, or control your mate, or control your child.
You are the only one who creates your reality, for no one else can think for you, no one else can do it, it is only you, every bit of it you”
This is sound advice, because as you focus on the positive aspects of your partner, the more those positive aspects, will manifest.
I admit that this may not be instantaneous, but by writing a list of your all the positive things you love about this person, and setting some time aside to visualize these positive aspects in action, you will gain the tools needed to deal with the negative emotions, as soon as they arise.
You see, your negative thoughts will not exist when you have a positive thought in mind, and as you are aware of these negative thoughts, the best course of action will be to ‘forget’ them, in other words, ‘get something for them.’
And the best thing you can get for a negative thought, is a positive thought, and of course you will have plenty of these to hand.
EFT is another easy to use technique, and can be used to tackle emotional issues, and limiting beliefs like these. Here’s a short film from EMOFree.com, giving a brief introduction to EFT.
Introduction To EFT
To learn the EFT Tapping sequence you can download a free eBook by simply filling out your name and email address on the left hand side of the The Tapping Solution Website.
Another great technique is called The Sedona Method.
Like EFT it has some great success stories, especially in tackling emotional issues and physiological issues, but importantly its development was conceived as a health solution tool, and as such has some unbelievable testimonials.
It may also be the case that these negative thoughts have something to do with some negative issues you have about yourself. I use some great tools to uncover these types of hidden negative beliefs in my Law of Attraction training program. If you would like some help to uncover these issues, Sign Up For My Free Mini-Course.
Hope these ideas are some help, and please, keep me posted…