Law of Attraction And Sex

by Ian
(London)

I am a very loving person and always dreamt about relationship and closeness it brings. I am a 25-year-old gay and I love being in relationships. I love feeling close and intimate with my partner.


I had my first boyfriend when I was 22. He didn’t give me much of love nor intimacy. We had been seeing each others once every two weeks (although living in the same city). He dumped me after 5 months of being together without giving me a reason which left me really depressed.

Year later I met my second boyfriend. Love was great but he didn’t want to stop using condoms with me. This has symbolised a shield to me and I never felt a real satisfaction from sex. I knew about the Law of Attraction and I started visualizing me and him having lots of sex without condoms. Then he left me soon after I started visualizing. Although I suffered, I said to myself, “it was never meant to be, I am sure he moved to make space for someone better to come.”

Then it happened! I met my 3rd boyfriend, who I am currently with. We love each other so much and used to have lots of amazing sex. But after 3 months of a great time, he took some drugs and his libido dropped. Currently we have sex very rarely or not at all. I suffer but I try to stay positive, think and feel good. I write affirmations, do vision boards and feel gratitude for what I have. I also read a lot about the Law of Attraction what always lifts my mood.

But I think I might do something wrong?

Clearly I have been always attracting a lack of sex satisfaction to my life. Why is that? Do I do something wrong?

I do strongly believe that my every good thought sends a good message to Universe, but things get worse the more I visualize. Now we’ve started to have arguments, he think I pressurize him (I tried to talk, suggested a doctor etc. I never make any comments). At the moment he doesn’t even like when I touch him. He says to me all the time how much he loves me and he wants to be with me all the time. I really do feel his love but there is no sex. I visualize us having sex, and whenever I visualize I feel love and gratitude for what I see. I am not sure what am I doing wrong?

Of course thought of feeling ugly and insecurities creep in sometimes during the day, but I am aware of them and try to think positively.

Please advice as I really do not want this relationship to go.

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

You may have an understanding that the Law of Attraction aligns to your reality a match to your most focused thoughts and feelings, and as you wish for your reality to contain an experience that it currently does not, you have used affirmations and visualizations to focus your thoughts and feelings, to in turn, manifest your desires.

So why do you not see the change of focus you have adopted in the experiences that you are receiving?

To be honest, this is not an uncommon situation that you find yourself in, (particularly in relationships). You notice what is missing in your reality, you focus your thoughts and feelings on what will replace this lack, and yet this experience you desire, fails to manifest.

The reason that this situation is so common, is that there has been a basic misunderstanding and oversimplification about how this Law actually works.

It may be accurate to say that the Law of Attraction aligns to our reality a match to our most focused thoughts and feelings, but this is really an oversimplification of what is happening, and if your understanding was limited to this definition, you will have a lot of trouble consciously manifesting anything.

To offer some clarity I would describe the Law of Attraction in the following way…

“The Law of Attraction aligns events, circumstances and people to our reality, that are a cooperative match to both mine and their focused thoughts and feelings.”


It is important to understand that whether you know about the Law of Attraction or not, whether you use affirmations or not, or whether you visualize or not, everybody’s reality represents a match to their focused thoughts and feelings, and each persons experience, with each person they connect with, provides a cooperative ‘soup’ of experience that aligns to the focused thoughts and feelings of each individual.

In other words, we all think and we all feel, and as we do, we are aligned to experiences that match each of our thoughts and emotions.

Bearing this in mind, you can probably understand perfectly, why it is that your partner has a ‘lack’ of sex in his reality, after all, it is neither his most focused thought or feeling.

And, as your partner is manifesting this ‘lack’, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change your focused thoughts and feelings, to manifest a different experience in his reality. In fact, that would defy Law, as it is not your thoughts and feelings that align experiences to his reality.

To compound this, when you consider your thoughts and feelings towards sex, although you try and include it as happening in your mind, you probably have more emotions and feelings wrapped up in the lack of this reality, as each time it fails to manifest you think and feel about it.

It is also not surprising, that as you try to focus on the change you most want to see in your partner, that you manifest a greater need of change, and as you do, this fuels the frustration and impatience in the relationship, which will naturally lead to upset and argument.

To deal with the situation you first have to decide what sex means to you.

If sex is a purely physical act, and is all that holds the relationship together, then I would suggest that your continued focus on what is missing, shall make it impossible for the inclusion of sex in this relationship, and I would suggest that you prepare to move on to a relationship that better meets your physical needs.

But, if sex in this relationship is the sharing of love in a physical manner, it would be better for you to focus on the parts of the relationship, that you have now, that makes you feel love. By doing this you will align to the cooperative ‘loving’ parts of this relationship, which in time, can manifest as love in a physical form.

To do this, spend some time identifying the best of what you both have together. What is good now, what is love now, and what is happiness now.

List these things and instead of affirming and visualizing what you do not have, focus on what you have now, and what brings you happiness today.

Focus on the best of what you have and this relationship cannot fail to blossom into the best of what can be.

If you need some help with this, use my 30-Day Law of Attraction WorkBook. It contains all the exercises you will need to switch your focus onto the best of any reality.

I hope that you have found this information useful, and if you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…


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John Peace
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Nov 12, 2017
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Query regarding attracting a boy for relationship NEW
by: Nitant

I am 24 years old gay boy and I don't know how and when I started loving another gay boy who met me through a social site. In my whole life, I cried for this person only. His one word makes me smile and one word makes me hurt. I can't explain how much I love him. Seriously its true love. But this person says he is a bisexual and doesn't want a relationship with a boy. (But I know he is a gay). He says he only want sex. Now only this person is the whole world for me. I really love him. And want to be with him. How can I attract him in my life happily.

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