Law of Attraction Help For A Rookie

I purchased the book The Secret a couple years ago and have seen amazing things happen in my life from just learning to be more aware of my thoughts and feelings. But the one area I still have difficulty in (which by saying this probably makes it still true) is the area of relationships. I won't say it again after this. :)


I made a vision board on things I wanted, from travelling, to my idea of the perfect partner. I even wrote cut out the word "passion" and glued it next to a picture of an engagement ring because I wanted my next relationship to have passion. (My 1st marriage lacked it)

When I met my ex-boyfriend it was like I had attracted him right into my life. He would even use the word "passion", like, "Life is better lived if you live it with passion. Gotta have passion." It was like the twilight zone.

We fell in love quickly and dated for 6 months. Then when we had our first problems or issues that couples seem to run in to, I sensed a fear in him. Our vibrations definitely weren't matching, and he wanted to go on a "break". I told him when we broke up that it would be too difficult for me to be just friends. I would need time to heal, etc. Yet he constantly contacted me, says he loves me, wants to be sure he's ready for marriage. I was confused why he couldn't just be my boyfriend first.

It appeared as if he wants his cake and eat it to, he doesn't want to lose me, yet he might like the option to date others too.

I love him but the situation didn't make me feel good. He was married/divorced twice and told me he doesn't want to be a 3rd time loser. I think the break was driven by fear, but those are his issues not mine.

I've accepted that I can't change/control what he wants, but it is very confusing when it seems like the LOA does bring you your perfect partner, then something like this happens. What is that???

The up and down cycle that we've been on for almost 3 months is not healthy for me either. Meaning when we spent time together I could tell he still loved me by the way he looked at me, treated me, and my feelings were still there but when we parted I was reminded of my "lack of him" again.

There are relationships that do work and I hear success stories of people attracting their perfect partner so please help.

I removed myself from this (maybe it was wrong but I did) and let him go. My last words to him were kind, but I felt I deserved a man I am crazy about and one that is crazy about me. That's what I want, I don't want to be with just anybody.

I'm sad that right now it isn't him, but still feel peaceful. I'm still learning, I know in one article you said you shouldn't have to walk away but in some ways I did, kinda like I love you but it's in God's hands now. Plus I didn't want to feel "lack of him" anymore from going from full boyfriend to what the current situation was.

I did have and I wish you the best kind of attitude and also if you love something set it free, if it comes back its yours, if not it was never meant to be.

I've never been dumped by someone who I thought was my perfect partner and by someone who didn't seem to go away but wanted the breakup on their terms.

I am concentrating on me, the positives about me, and the positives of my situation. I'm trying to not let my fears and insecurities interfere and learn to recognize them when they do enter my mind.

Sometimes that's tricky to learn how to be aware of your thoughts when it comes to the area of relationships. Help!

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

In your question you make an interesting point, which I think clearly demonstrates how the Law of Attraction works.

When you talked about what you wanted from a relationship, you said, “I even wrote cut out the word "passion" and glued it next to a picture of an engagement ring because I wanted my next relationship to have passion. (My 1st marriage lacked it)

When I met my ex-boyfriend it was like I had attracted him right into my life. He would even use the word "passion", like, "Life is better lived if you live it with passion. Gotta have passion." It was like the twilight zone.”

You explain the differences in these relationships when it comes to passion, that the first lacked it, and this relationship did not.

I am sure that you can see that this relationship has passion, because you were looking for passion, found passion, and then thought about how much passion there was.

So why is it that this first relationship had no passion?

Were you looking for passion?

And if you were looking for passion, did you not find it? Did you notice the lack of passion, and then think about how much passion there was not?

This is the key!

When it comes to life, to people, to relationships, and to experiences, look for what you desire, and if you don’t see it, look again. Find something, anything, that comes closer to what you wish to see, and spare no thought to what you don’t want to see.

Learn to embrace your creation for what it is, yours…

Offer it thoughts of love and care, and do not condemn what you put together, as it is the condemned part of what you created, that will come back to haunt you.

But how do you do this?

I know that it easy for me to say that you must control your thoughts, or you must be positive, and be more aware of what you are thinking, almost as if you can flick a switch and change something you have been doing for years.

Lets be honest, most people never give a second thought to what they are thinking, their brains ramble over one subject, and then the next, and then the next, like an out of control monkey jumping from branch to branch. And it would be naive of me to think that you can turn this chatter off, and choose what you want to think, without putting in a lot of effort.

In The Secret, they do talk about gratitude, and how having an attitude of gratitude can help you apply the Law of Attraction, but I do think that they understate how important this is.

When you are grateful for something, anything, it will be impossible to feel fear and worry. When you are thankful for what you have, you can feel no lack. When you love what you see, there can be no condemnation of what you have created.

Gratitude is the biggest part of getting your thoughts right, and it can be used to focus your thoughts and feelings, as well as to control your seemingly uncontrollable brain chatter. And with practise, it can turn you from a negative frame of mind, to an extremely positive frame of mind.

So what is it that you are grateful for right now?

Make a list of everything that is going well in your life, everything that makes you feel good, that makes you laugh, that makes you smile, and makes you feel warm.

Spend some time contemplating this list, every morning and every evening, and when you can, add more things that you’re grateful for that happened that day.

Make this list your primary tool, and become so familiar with it, that you can recall it at any time.

Of course, this will not be enough to turn your brain chatter off, and there will still be time that you slip into your commentary of what you are experiencing.

You will notice things you do not like, you will notice people doing this you do not like, you will be tempted to complain, to comment and to condemn.

It is these thoughts that you need to forget, and the very best way to forget them, is to get something for them.

Whenever you become aware that you are thinking in any way, as a match for what you do not want, use your gratitude list to get rid of these thoughts.

Learn to embrace your creation for what it is, yours…

Offer it thoughts of love and care, and do not condemn what you put together. When you love what you have created, the parts that you love will come back to embrace you.

If you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…


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