Law of Attraction Marriage & Miscarriage

by Pooja
(USA )

I am new to law of attraction. I think I understand it fairly well but application does not always happen.

Me and my husband have been married for 7 years. We got pregnant the first year of our marriage. It was not the most wonderful marriage and we had a lot of issues. We are both young and our aspirations were not aligned as a couple. He wanted to travel the world and I wanted to settle down and have a family.

When I told him I was pregnant, he said he was not ready for it. I had not expected anything better. I was extremely hurt but I did not want to burden him with a new,' not so happy marriage' and a baby he was not ready for! I moved from a different country to live with him. I had no job or qualification in his country. That made me have a very low self esteem at the first place. A family was too much to even ask for. He dropped me to a abortion clinic and I had it done. He said you will look back and say,"been there done that ". I wept to sleep that night, laying next to him in bed. I don't think he noticed

We struggled for the next few years of our marriage. Bickering, yelling and arguments got louder and louder. There was physical abuse on some days.

I could not divorce him because of my own insecurities and low self esteem. Every time he apologized I gave in, hoping things will get better or telling myself this happens in every relationship.

One day he came home and said he has to travel for his new job and he has no choice. I did not argue although I was hurt for being rejected one more time by my own husband. I used the time he was away to work on myself. I was at peace when he was gone. I worked on my profession and my personality. When he came back from his trips he was very content. He enjoyed every bit of it and he could not stop telling me how great each and every trip was.

In the mean time I got into a university and left home for three years of schooling to get credentialed in his country to work and be self sufficient . He did not stop me and was happy for me.

The first year of my school, I got the baby fever. So strong this time that I asked him directly if he wanted to stay with me and have a family or leave me so that I can move on. He decided to come live with me for the time he was not traveling. Two months of living together, he left me again for another job, only to visit me on the weekends. My calling to have a baby was so strong that we got pregnant inspite of the constant struggle in my marriage. I was happy being pregnant but he was surprised to see me not hurting or aching. He was surprised when I didn't throw up in the morning. I was very happy but we got into an argument every time I asked his help to make arrangements to bring the baby home. He said I should not bother him with constant nagging and he will arrange everything in a day when need be. I could not contain my exicitement for the baby and I was so disturbed to see him being so laid back about so many things about our future with the baby. I was being a over concerned mother already. We argued.

He decided to put me in a hotel instead of his apartment when I went for my winter break before my graduation. He said he did not want me to judge his place. I only wanted to get it ready for our baby. I had less than 6 months to graduate and have a baby. Both were supposed to be in June 2015. The pregnancy ended up in a miscarriage at 17 weeks. We both felt guilty for our behaviors. We ended up giving it another try. I moved with him and we lived together for a year. All this while I prepared my mind to be a single mother of need be. Got pregnant the third time, ended in miscarriage again at 18 weeks. He told me I was having this miscarriage because I did not bed rest when he and his family told me so. I used to go to work to keep my self sane and have normal relationships at least in my social circle.

I have spent 7 years in this marriage and I have no other desire but to have a happy family. I have no courage to divorce him after putting him through all this, all because I wanted a family. I don't know where to even begin. Please help! I cannot lose another child.

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May 30, 2016
Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply
by: John

When I say that the Law of Attraction brings you your reality, based on what you predominantly think and feel, when your experiences don’t match your desires, it is a difficult idea to grasp. And in no way would I suggest that you thought about having a difficult marriage, or miscarrying your babies. However, the relationship you find yourself in does match the negatives thoughts you have about your relationship, as does the miscarriages that you have experienced match the sadness you were already feeling.

So it may not be the case that exact thought produces exact experiences, but general thought and general feelings does cause events and circumstances to align to us so that we can generally continue to think and feel in the same way.

Marriage should be a union of two people, that when together they co-create a shared desired reality, so that their joint experiences continue to grow and be created. And a marriage without growth seems a pointless union.

I am not suggesting that your marriage is lacking growth, but when you include in a union the sort of conflict that you have described, any marriage would find it difficult to grow. And to introduce another person to this unstable relationship is certainly not the answer, as I am sure that the stress of parenthood adding to the stress of a ‘not so happy marriage', could make the parenting and the marrying, impossible.

So what to do?

Having been faced with this situation I am sure that you have considered your action time and time again, should you stay? Should you leave? Should you behave differently? Should you give up on your interests? Should you be more compliant? Or should you assert yourself more? And as you consider your action you will undoubtable weigh up the advantages with each choice you have. But as you look at the actions you have made in the past, did any of them turn out the way you had expected? Which really makes taking action a bit of a shot in the dark.

I bet that if you thought of any action you had previously made to try and change your reality and listed the good and the bad that came from that action, there is never a wrong or right action to take.

This is because our actions don’t create our realities, our thoughts and feelings do, and no matter how we act, ultimately we will collide with events, circumstances and people that will return an experience that will be a match to the way we think and feel.

So if it is our thoughts and emotions that align experiences to our reality, what have you been thinking about yourself and your marriage? And have those thoughts fostered the experience that you have been having?

Of course I cannot tell what you have thought, but just by reading your question it is clear that you do not think of your marriage as a union of two people, that co-creates a shared desired reality allowing their joint experiences to grow and creat.

Here is some of the language you use to describe your marriage….

"I should not bother him with constant nagging"
"It was not the most wonderful marriage"
"we had a lot of issues"
"our aspirations were not aligned"
"bickering and yelling"
"arguments getting louder and louder"
"physical abuse"
"constant struggle in my marriage"
"We both felt guilty for our behaviors"

These are hardly thoughts that foster a truly meaningful relationship.

And when you describe yourself…..

"I was extremely hurt"
"burden him with a new,' not so happy marriage"
"very low self-esteem"
"I could not divorce him"
"my own insecurities"
"he apologized I gave in"
"hurt for being rejected one more time by my own husband"

Hardly thoughts that foster a happy experience.

Remember, the Law of Attraction brings you your reality based on what you predominantly think and feel, and if your reality does not match your desires, it is because your way of thinking and feeling contradicts what you want.

You need to shine a new light on your marriage, a light that is based upon what you consider desirable and attractive. You should only foster the thoughts that match what you want out of a union, not what you have gotten up to now.

Focus on the best of what your marriage and your husband have, and pay no attention to those parts of him that you do not enjoy.

Of course, I understand that you are asking this question because you have observed this unwanted behavior, and you need to explain your situation, but I am here to tell you that in the observing, came the noticing, in the noticing came the reaction, and in the reaction came the emotion, and as a response to that emotion came the creation.

If you observe something unwanted, you must have noticed something unwanted, and when reacting to it, you add emotion, and to the thought of what you did not like and through the emotion of not liking it, the Law of Attraction will align more events, more circumstances and more people to keep you thinking and feeling this way.

It is time to invest in you, time to train your mind to choose the better thought, and as you do, your reality shall start to reflect the better experiences you deserve.

When it comes to your husband and your marriage, list the things that you like and enjoy and spend some time each focusing on this list. Then, as you then go about your day, when you notice something you don’t like, instead of reacting to it, re-focus on the list of things you like best.

To begin with this will not be easy, you have practiced seeing and responding to the unwanted parts of your reality that it will be natural to want to continue with this habit, but with time, and with effort, it will become easier and easier to do, and the more you focus on the best of what is, the more the best of what is will keep showing up.

Re-think and re-feel your experience, and by choosing the thought and emotion that dominates your mind, you choose the experience you align to. But understand that it is the experience you are creating, not the event, not the circumstances and not the people that you align to.

In other words, by choosing to vibrate with what pleases you, you give your husband the opportunity to vibrate with you, to help to manifest those experiences that please you, if he can. But if he is unable to become the co-creator of the best marriage that you are focusing on, he will have to leave your vibration as he does not match.

You cannot "bother him with constant nagging," as the bother will not match your vibration.

The marriage can only exist as a "wonderful marriage," as wonderfulness is the only experience that matches how you think.

There can be no "issues," as you will not entertain them as thoughts.

To be with you his "aspirations" will have to align with yours, as your focus is on what you are aspiring to.

There can be no "arguments, bickering and yelling," as your attention will never be on what displeases you.

The "physical abuse" will never exist in the experience of someone who predominantly thinks about what is best.

The only "struggle" will be the struggle to find the better thought, which in time will become natural.

And "guilt" will never muddy the mind of the person who chooses what to think.

By cleaning up the way you think you will clean up what you experience, and when you choose to no longer bang the drum of what is unwanted, you will choose what is desired, and through desirable thought will come desirable outcomes, and that is the time to share what you have created with the love of a child.

Meditation will definitely help you, I have practised Vipassana Meditation for some time now and I am sure it will help you, take a look at the Website for some great information, you can also download an eBook on Vipassana called Mindfulness in Plain English

With Gratitude

John Peace

30-Days To Raise Your Vibration
The Unlock The Power WorkBook

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