Law of Attraction Tips At My Wits End
I am a firm believer in Law of Attraction. I've watched the Secret and read numerous Law of Attraction books. That's what brings me to my quandary. I went through a very painful divorce 10 yrs ago and met a nice, caring man not too long after. I considered this man a good friend but he wanted more and after dating around a little I finally started dating him. Although I cared for him very much I did not love him the way I should have and I realize this now. I married him because he provided the safety and stability that I needed at that time.
We've been married seven years and have 2 children together and the marriage hasn't been great, but I've kind of ignored it over the years and said it is the way it is and continued on. About 8 months ago, out of the blue, a guy that I graduated school with contacted me interested in having an affair. I basically told him to bug off and went on with my life. A couple months later he was back again and this time I began talking to him. Although we have not had a full blown affair we have had an emotional affair and he is also married with a child. He expressed to me in the beginning that he is in no position to leave his marriage. I have tried numerous times to end this and he will stop contacting me for a couple of days then he'll contact me and I find myself constantly going back. I know now that I attracted this into my life because of my unhappiness with my current marriage. My problem now is this
1. I feel a deep connection to this man and I know he does too and I do not know how to end it. If we were both single I could definitely see us having a relationship. When I try to end it and don't talk to him I am miserable and I am relieved when he gives in and contacts me, but then I feel anxious because I know it is wrong. I also don't understand why I would attract this pain into my life. The pain of wanting someone I can't be with.
2. I also do not know what to do about my current marriage. I am very unhappy. My husband knows this and has been smothering me which is just making it worse. Now he wants to be the husband he hasn't been for the past 7 yrs and I feel it's just too late. I want to leave but I am scared for numerous reasons. We have children, I came from a broken home and don't want that for them, I don't have a job but I do have savings that I could live on for a bit. I also don't have a lot of family for support. Overall I am just scared of the unknown and I feel obligated to stay. I don't know how to accept the fact that if I did leave things would be ok
3. I want and deserve to be happy, but I have no idea how. When I got married I thought this was it, but now here I am. As I said before I feel obligated to stay and work it out because of my vows and of my kids. I don't want to hurt anyone but I just want to be happy.
How do I use Law of Attraction to help me with this? I'm living in constant turmoil Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply
The Law of Attraction is a mechanism by which your reality aligns to you as a match to your thoughts and feelings. This is what I would call your vibration, and whatever frequency you are holding on any particular subject, the corresponding experiences are brought to you in order for you to maintain your frequency.
You have heard of the saying, “Birds of a feather flock together”, and this accurately describes how likeminded people are drawn together. I do not mean that we attract people that agree with us, rather that we attract people who reflect an experience back to us to match how we feel.
If you feel frustrated about something, you attract circumstances, opportunity and people to help you maintain your frustration.
If you feel unhappy, you attract circumstances, opportunity and people to help you maintain your unhappiness.
And if you feel trapped, you attract circumstances, opportunity and people to help you maintain your isolation.
If it is our thoughts and emotions that align our experiences, does this not suggest that to attract a certain experience, we must think and feel in a way that matches the existence of that experience whether we were experiencing it or not.
You must understand that the story you tell about the way your experience is, actually recreates that experience in exactly the same way you talk, think and feel about it.
You are using the Law of Attraction in the way most people do, and recreating your reality by default. You are having an experience, thinking and feeling about that experience, and ultimately realigning a reality that makes you feel the same way.
All very good if that experience is wanted, but rather difficult if that experience was painful and unwanted.
So how can you experience something you do not like and not think and feel about it?
To begin with, you have to understand that happiness is not outside yourself, it does not depend on certain events or people acting or behaving in a certain way. Happiness is within, and if you spend some time creating the feeling within you, the results of your efforts will start to create themselves around you.
In your question you talk about the details of your experience as either opportunities or obstacles for you to have the reality you desire, but your work does not take place in moving experience around to fit your preferred reality. This is because the details only exist as a result of what you have thought and felt, and any attempt to change and cajole your reality will only result in more details developing that feel to you to be just the same.
This is why people in debt, attract more bills, people who are abused attract more abusers, and people who are unlucky attract more misfortune, it is not the bills, abusers or misfortune that brings their experiences, it is their thoughts and feelings of debt, abuse and unluckiness.
To change what you have, you have to change the way you think and feel about what you have, and to move from an unhappy reality to a happy one, you must first change your thoughts and feelings from unhappiness to a new vibration of happy.
To do this I would suggest that you, at first, begin to identify with the things that you have now that feel happy to you, and use these things to help you to try and maintain a happy vibration.
I would begin by listing the parts of your now experience that please you, and then focus on these things first thing in the morning, and at any time you felt low, or you felt negative about something happening in your reality.
What feels good about now? Your husband’s good points, your children, where you live, your home, your beliefs… etc, etc.
Use this list to raise your vibration and become very familiar with the things that make you feel happy.
Of course, this will not chase all unhappy things away, but it will give you the tools to deal with them.
Up to now you have used unhappy and unwanted experiences to define your experience. You have thought about them as fact, you have felt about them with a range of unwanted emotions, and you have added them to the story of what’s happening to you.
We can see the thoughts, emotions and story’s in the question you ask.
“The marriage hasn't been great, but I've kind of ignored it over the years.”
“I know now that I attracted this into my life because of my unhappiness with my current marriage.”
“When I try to end it and don't talk to him I am miserable.”
“I am very unhappy. My husband knows this and has been smothering me which is just making it worse.”
“I'm living in constant turmoil.”
And the more you practice thinking and feeling like this, the more experience you will align to, to help you to carry on these thoughts and emotions.
So what would you do to stop thee thoughts and feelings and align to a different more wanted reality?
To change your thoughts about what you did not like you would repeat an associated experiences that you liked from your list of happy experiences.
I will try to do this for you from some positive statements in your question.
You thought, “the marriage hasn't been great, but I've kind of ignored it over the years.” To change this thought you would accept your experience and repeat something positive about it. For example, “Even though the marriage hasn't been great, but I've kind of ignored it over the years, my husband is a nice caring man who helped me to get over a painful divorce. I may not be head over heels in love with him, but he is a good friend who provides to me and our beautiful children safety and stability.”
Again with another statement, you have the thought, “I'm living in constant turmoil.” To change this thought you would accept your experience and repeat something positive about it. For example, “Even though I'm living in constant turmoil, I know that I am loved, and that my children are happy. I am also able to focus on the goods part of my experience so that this turmoil becomes easier and easier to cope with and I can start to see the changes that my positivity is bringing.”
Yes you do deserve to be happy, but you must first intend to be happy and then exercise some control of your thoughts and emotions to help you to think and feel happy. It is only then that the happiness you think and feel can start to become a part of all experiences you align to.
For a more structured approach try my Unlock The Power WorkBook
, which takes you through a step-by-step process to do this, and continues by helping you to build positive intentions through seemingly negative experiences.