LOA and Miscarriage
I manifested my first pregnancy through the Law of Attraction within the first month of trying. I initially felt shocked and slightly taken aback as it happened so quickly, but this soon turned to joy and happiness about having a baby.
I purchased clothes and told a few people as I didn't feel anything would go wrong but to my devastation I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks in that the heartbeat stopped but I was still 'pregnant'. I then manifested a natural mc as I didn’t want to go to hospital.
This was nearly 3 weeks ago and my question is, why did it happen if I was in a joyful, wanting and anticipated, expecting all to go fine for this baby?
I believe things happen for a reason and we learn and grow by experiences and if this was Gods intention for me, how do I know I have learnt what I am supposed to!
I am left with mixed emotions on the LOA and my spirituality since. I get confused on spiritual growth experiences with LOA in that, what if I am not meant to have a child in this lifetime?
I am scared of trying again in case it will happen again and I am left feeling my body has failed me and have anxiety that I may have something wrong with my health that caused this?
Hope you may help shed some light on this and how I may move forward and what I can do to have a healthy pregnancy to full term in the near future?
Sonya Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply
This is a very difficult question to give an answer that is both comforting and satisfactory, as there is so much emotion and heartbreak wrapped up in this experience, and it is only natural that you would be looking for some reason, lesson or blame so that the pain you are feeling has some purpose.
Why would this happen?
What did I do wrong?
What are the lessons I must learn?
These are all questions that must be running through your mind as you try to come to terms with this, and it is hardly surprising that you would question your spirituality and beliefs.
In my view, although there may be a cause for the experiences we have, I certainly do not believe that the things we seem to have to endure are sent to us in order for us to build character or learn lessons. What a cruel system of living it would be if we were only to learn through pain, and how confusing the lessons would be if they involved breaking our hearts. Of a God that would teach in such a way, I am sure there is not.
So why do these things happen?
When teaching the process of the Law of Attraction I will often tell people to focus on the positive aspect of their experiences. This is because this Law responds to our predominant thoughts and feelings and aligns us to experiences that match the way we think and feel.
Of course this would be a very difficult thing to do, particularly from your viewpoint, after all it is your loss more than anyone else’s. So I will definitely not tell you to try to put a positive slant on this reality, as I am sure that such a suggestion will only serve to anger you.
So can any positive come from tragedy? Yes, in time, but this is not a lesson or message. Finding something positive is the way you deal with an unwanted experience to try to ensure that the experience is not repeated.
Some time ago I was asked to speak at a funeral of a ten day old baby, and of course, when you speak at such a gathering you can only speak of hope and comfort, but what hope and what comfort could you offer the parents of a baby that had been taken so young.
It was moving that as I stood in front of the extended family of this child, that these people, who had spent years arguing and bickering at each other, were now holding each other in comfort and support. Relationships that many people had attempted to fix, had been glued back together by a ten day old child. And since then, the parents have had another child and raised thousands for a children’s hospital in the name of the baby they’d lost.
The fact you are able to become pregnant, have had an experience of pregnancy and that your body is undamaged by this ordeal are all things to feel thankful for, as now you can step forward and carry your next child full term and ultimately hold the baby you long for.
So what is it that you can do to ensure that you don’t re-experience this?
It is important that you remember that you cannot change what has happened, and many people will be
surprised to hear that neither can you change what is going to happen. Yes you can change what you are thinking and ultimately change what you are attracting, but you cannot change the future, as the future does not exist. So if you cannot change the past and you cannot change the future, all you can do is change the present, so the best place to start is now.
So, if we can only deal with now, and the Law of Attraction responds to how you think and feel now, are your now thoughts aligning you to a future pregnancy and birth? As you explained, you were joyful, wanting and full of anticipation when you became pregnant, but do these emotions serve you?
To attract an experience you must align your thoughts and emotions to the existence of that experience, regardless of it being real or not, and as a result the Law of Attraction will align to you events, circumstances and people so that the reality surrounding you will match your way of thinking and feelings.
But if we longed for or desperately wanted a certain experience, our thoughts and emotions would be of longing and wanting, and as the Law of Attraction aligns us to a reality that matches the way we think and feel, the events, circumstances and people that would surround us would help us to think and feel more longing and more wanting, hardly the experience we would want…
The trouble with wanting is that it must, in its very nature, lead you to an experience that lacks the things you desire, otherwise how can you continue to think and feel more want.
You see the Law of Attraction is not an understanding Law, it does not decipher your wanting and work out what you really mean, it simply aligns you to things that help you to think and feel in the same way. I suppose the Law is this, if you think and feel in a way, that’s how you like to think and feel, so have some more stuff that makes you think and feel like that.
When introduced to the Law of Attraction we are often told that we can be, do and have anything we desire. As a result, we want to be, want to do and want to have many different experiences, but for many, it is their wanting that will hold their desires away.
It’s not that being, doing and having has limits, it’s just that by wanting these things they are held away from us so that we can continue to want them.
I know that this seems like a paradox, after all, how can you want something without wanting it?
I guess that this is really the ultimate question, as we all have desires, we all want, and if the secret to getting something is to want it, without wanting it, the way you attract an experience has to be the way you control your thoughts.
Some control their thoughts by focusing in another direction. I know of someone who miscarried over and over, gave up her wanting of being a mother and bought a puppy, months later she fell pregnant, carried full term, and gave birth to a healthy baby.
Others control their thoughts by fulfilling themselves in another way. Again, someone I know who was medically unable to conceive, adopted two babies, and years later became unexpectedly pregnant herself.
Controlling you thoughts and your wanting can be done in many ways, I certainly don’t think that you need to get a puppy or adopt a child, after all it’s your mind, and for as long as you control what you are thinking, you will control your reality.
Meditation will certainly help you, I have practiced Vipassana Meditation for some time now and you can find lots of tips on how to learn this type of meditation at Dhamma.org
. It will also help you to focus on being a mother, not becoming a mother, and adjusting your thoughts and feelings as if this event had already happened.
How does it feel to be a mother?
What do you think when you hold your baby?
Remember, it is your thoughts and feelings that mould your reality, and as you cannot change the past or the future, regret, fear and worry will never serve you.
If you are questioning your spirituality there are a few books that are definitely worth reading. Neale Donald Walsh’s book, Conversations with God
will give you a deeper understanding of God and our purpose, and William P Young’s The Shack
may help you to deal with the feeling of loss that you have.
Also, The Sara Books by Abraham-Hicks
will help you to understand the Law of Attraction in a different way.
I hope that you have found this information useful, and if you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…John Peace