LOA To Get Over Him Or Get Him Back?

I only stumbled across The Secret a short while ago and for me it is still difficult to believe and to apply.


I have been in a difficult relationship for 7 years on and off, I truly love him and I left my husband with two kids to remake my life with him. However we have now split up for ‘god knows how many times’ and the difficult part is getting over him.

I constantly hope we will come back together and that he will realize what he lost, despite the fact that we do have so different personalities and ways of looking at life.

I know you say that you cannot attract and wish for another person to come back using the Law of Attraction, and I try to use the LOA to attract a new partner. I would really like to meet a life partner that I could spend my life with.

This is difficult though, when you still love another person and for me the time we have been together and what we have experienced has really created, an attachment that is difficult to get over. But I also feel bitterness, as I feel that I have sacrificed a lot (my marriage, a good economic situation, my kids being in a divorced family, my health as I had depression when leaving my husband) and he is still in the same situation as before. So my question is:

1) Do I try to focus on him eventually realizing that we do have something special and coming back? If so, how do I do this with the Law of Attraction???

2) Or, do I try to get over him? If so, how do I use the Law of Attraction to do this, and then how will I eventually attract a new life partner???

My father is seriously ill with cancer, so focusing on the positives is very difficult for the moment, but I hope you can give some advice..... Is there some way that I can use the Law of Attraction to improve his condition to?

I hope this all makes sense and that you can give me some useful advice.

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

It is not too unusual for people to find the Law of Attraction difficult to believe and apply, especially when we are first introduced to these ideas.

If your introduction to the Law of Attraction was through the film The Secret, you must appreciate that the film does very well, as an invitation to this Law but, the often too simplistic approach the film uses to apply these ideas, will not fit or suite every circumstance and person.

In the film there in an emphasis on thought creating reality, which in essence is true, but it would be more accurate to say that ‘How’ you think, rather than ‘What’ you think, tends to align you with a specific experience.

For example, someone may be financial insecure, and think about having money, but these thoughts about ‘more money’ may not necessarily align to a ‘more money’ experience.

Why? Because the thoughts about more money are more closely aligned to the lack of money, rather than thoughts of being aligned to an experience of having more money now.

This person may think about more money, but ‘How’ they are thinking, are thoughts of want and need, and as they do, they align to an experience that will cause them to want and need more.

‘How’ you are thinking about ‘what you want’ is the key to attracting it.

If you are thinking about your desires, are your thoughts aligned more to the lack of these things, or to the reality of having these things?

This is such a difficult part of the Law of Attraction to master, as throughout our lives, our upbringing, our education and our growth, little or no importance is placed upon the structure of our thoughts, and indeed, the result of what we have been thinking.

And what we, as Law of Attraction teachers are trying to help you to do, is in essence, control your minds.

So to answer your question with a definitive do one rather than the other, is an impossible thing for me to do, because neither would work until you address your thoughts.

You see, you cannot focus on him coming back, as to focus on someone coming back they would have to be away from you, and if you think and feel without something, then the resulting reality must match that thought.

Similarly, you cannot ‘try’ to get over someone, as a need to try would suggest that you were not over them, and any thought and emotion of being not over a relationship, must be matched in future experiences.

My suggestion would be that you invest some time into to past and present experiences, and find the parts of these things that you could call positive and happy. In other words, find the parts of what you have had that you could express some gratitude for.

What could you be grateful for with the experience of your first marriage?

List these things…

What could you be grateful for with the experience of your children?

List these things…

What could you be grateful for with the experience of your 7 year relationship?

List these things…

What could you be grateful for with the experience of your life?

List these things…

Once you have listed these things, spend some time, each day, focusing upon what is good, pleasurable, exciting, romantic and happy, and express your gratitude for these things.

Getting to feel good about now is one of the most important parts of mastering your thoughts, and the more you do this, the more you will be able to switch your bitter thoughts about what has been, to sweet thoughts about what you have had, and in return, you shall reap the sweetness of things that will follow.

If you need help with this exercise, refer to my 30-Day Unlock The Power WorkBook

So should you focus on eventually attracting a new life partner?

To be honest, there will be no need for this, as the more you invest into a happier you, the more the experiences of happiness will follow, and if your happiness was to include a new life partner, then that shall certainly be.

This exercise is also something that you could encourage your father to do, as dwelling on any negative experience, whatever that experience is, can make the present undesirable reality, seem quite unbearable.

You could also introduce your father to EFT, I am sure he would find it of some benefit. My favourite website is The Tapping Solution.com. The EFT Practitioners there share some wonderful stories which they present on video, and they also offer a free ebook for you to learn this technique.

I would also suggest that you read Neale Donald Walsh’s book, Conversations with God, it will give you a deeper understanding of God and our purpose and is a wonderful book.

I hope that you have found this information useful, and if you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…


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John Peace
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