Manifesting A Better Relationship With The Law of Attraction
(Havana, IL USA)
How can I manifest a better relationship with my boyfriend after 14 years of ups and downs? I've known this guy since college and always thought that we would get married. He's the only one I ever saw myself doing that with.
He is 4 years older than me and wasn't ready. I got resentful over the years of him stringing me along. Every time we'd get back together to try and work it out, I'd become even more bitter that he still wasn't popping the question, and he'd feel more pressure.
He's a very social person and I thought he would grow out of the social scene and want to incorporate a family. He says he does but I can't imagine that.
I always felt like he put a married life with me on hold to pursue the club life, like he was missing out of something really important. So, I have a deep-seated resentment about him stringing me along, and I always felt like our relationship took a back seat to his social life.
14 years later, I see some maturity in him, but after all this time, we both have so many deep-seated resentments, it’s hard to communicate without one of us jabbing the other with a punch from history.
I've been researching past lives to see if there is a lesson we are supposed to learn from each other, so we can move on, either with one another or with other people.
Why does the universe keep putting us back together after 2 and 3 years of separations? And if we are to be together, how can we get past these neuro associations from our past go rounds?Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply
Yes there are lessons to be learnt, not from a passed life, but from this one, which you so clearly having trouble with.
As you have come to realize you cannot change anyone. It is not your duty to change another, it is not your right to change another, and it is not your place to change another.
You create your life for you, you are the only one that can think for you, and since your thoughts create your reality, it can only be you that can create an experience for you.
The same goes for your boyfriend, he create his life for him, he is the only one that can think for him, and since his thoughts create his reality, he is the only one that can create an experience for himself.
You have tried to create a reality of marriage in his experience, which is impossible to do, (unless that is what he is trying to do to). In doing so you notice that your thoughts of wanting are having no effect, you notice that you are unmarried, and you have feelings of frustration, bitterness and resentment. And as it is your thoughts that create your reality, you are creating a future of being unmarried, with feelings of frustration, bitterness and resentment, (maybe this is why you keep ending up together).
If this is a future that you do not want, it’s clear that you need to change your thoughts….
To begin with you need to understand your feelings of frustration, bitterness and resentment. You are feeling this way towards someone you obviously love, because he thinks in a different way than you. Why?
Why do you resent someone who has different wants, different likes, different priorities and a different outlook on life than you?
Most people have different wants, different likes, different priorities and a different outlook on life than
others, yet we don’t go about resenting them. Yet you and your boyfriend have something mighty in common, you love each other. And it seems to me that the more thoughts of love that you give this relationship, the better it will become.
If you wish to change your reality, it is imperative that you deal with these negative beliefs, and there are a number of ways you can do this.
Chris Dines book Heal Your Unconscious Pain would be a good starting point. Chris has put a simple three-step exercise together to help you overcome these kind of negative thoughts.
You can download Heal Your Unconscious Pain here
, as a PDF eBook.
I would also have a look at EFT
and The Sedona Method
, they are both very effective ways of removing negative beliefs and emotions, (follow the links above, there are plenty of free resources).
If you would like some help on uncovering your limiting beliefs, and turning them into positive intensions, sign up for my free Law of Attraction QuickStart program
Before I leave you I want to talk about relationships, and a trend that many people follow. I’d also like to leave you with a little exercise to help you get over this common issue.
At the start of a relationship, our thoughts tend to be thoughts of optimism, we ask ourselves, “is this the one,” and focus our attention on the things we like about our new partner.
We notice how they talk, how popular they are, how they treat us and how they make us feel, and our focus always tends to be the things we like, and of course, as it is our thoughts that create our reality, we tend to see more evidence that they are indeed, “the one.”
As the relationship grows, the excitement fades, all be it a little, and we start to notice little negatives about them, things that irritate us a little. As we notice these little irritations, we start to hope that our partner wouldn’t do this, or would stop doing that.
We offer these irritations thought and focus, and as the Law of Attraction brings us what we think and focus on, we notice more and more irritating behaviour. This then upsets us emotionally, which enhances the speed that the Law of Attraction works, and we end up getting more and more upset.
This is a downward trend that many relationships follow, and one that can be easily reversed by just changing the thought, the focus and the emotion.
If you wish to see your boyfriend in a better light, concentrate on the better light that he is, and he will become that to you, most of the time.
To do this, invest some time in writing out a list of all the positive aspects of your boyfriend, everything you like about him, and how these positive things make you feel good.
Each day, spend some time thinking about these positive qualities, and these good feelings, not as things you would change about him, but as positive qualities he has that make you feel good.
This is not changing you partner, this is holding a vibration about him, and as you hold this vibration, he will become mostly that vibration to you. If he doesn’t match this vibration, if he is in a bad mood or angry, then you will become like ships in the wind, the Law of Attraction will not put you together.Law-of-Attraction-Guide.com
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