Negative Persistant Feelings

by Johan Truter
(South Africa)

I know the law of attraction well, the principals are clear to me. For many years I have also studied the laws of the mind and these are all the same thing…Now this is my problem…

I got into a relationship some time ago.. I am in my fifties and my partner is in the same age group… She lives about 2 hours drive away from me, so we only see each other for about 4 days at a time - very 10 to 12 days…

I unfortunately, and this was accidental, came across some information about her which troubles me… What I am referring to happened long before I met her… I am well aware that we all make mistakes, that is why we make them! to learn and grow from them.

In the period that I have been with her she has not given me any reason to doubt her honesty, she has been very open with me at all times and tells me everything, even the info I came across when I brought it up.

When we see each other we get along exceptionally well…

It is when we are apart, I sometimes get feelings, and I don’t always know how to interpret them, but every time, shortly after my feelings, when I spoke to her, something did in fact happen, but so far it has never really been negative..

What does however trouble me is that when we are apart, I very often experience negative feelings about her (and as I have mentioned before there is no reason for that.)

I also know that if these feelings persist for a period I am going to attract that into my life and that is what I don’t want. I must add that very often these feelings are very strong…

I have sat down in meditation so often, calmed myself down, replaced the negatives with positives, felt better for a while, but then the negativity returns once more.

I have even put up positive signs above my work desk, so when I get these feelings I can look up and get inspiration…

I have even made a colorful chart regarding our relationship and all I want out of it… That too is where I can see it all the time…

I even from time to time re-write my dream list, not changing it just writing, and this is part of my reinforcement, seeing, feeling and writing, and even then I am still struggling…

Am I missing something here, is there perhaps some unconscious aspect that maybe I am not aware of?

One other thing I did not mention, my partner is going to see her daughter in Germany for 6 weeks and during that period I will not be seeing her at all…

Although I am pleased for her, as she has not seen the daughter for two years, I don't enjoy the idea of the long separation…

What would your recommendation be…

What else can one do, to change these deep negative feelings…

I know if I persist with what I am experiencing, that is what I am going to attract! And don’t want!

Your comments or suggestions will be greatly appreciated…

Kind regards,

Johan Truter

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

Hi Johan,

It is obvious that you are feeling some pain over your partners actions, when you say that you “came across some information about her that troubles me”, I can see that there is some underlying pain associated with her past.

You also say that, “in the period that I have been with her she has not given me any reason to doubt her honesty”, which suggests to me that you have, or you are questioning her honesty.

You also say that you get these “negative feelings” when you are apart, so it quite clearly an underlying subconscious feeling.

You have outlined your actions to try and dissipate these feeling, and on the face of it, you seem to be on the right track. My worry is, that without dealing with your feelings head on, you may be reinforcing them!

Without dealing with the emotion that this news has caused, it will always raise its head. This is a deep-seated subconscious feeling, which needs to be dealt with head-on, not by papering over the cracks.

I am not sure whether it is painful that you partner has a history that troubles you, or the fact that she did not confide in you, but I think that you need to get to the bottom of it.

There is a technique that was introduced to me by a fellow coach called Chris Dines.

Heal your unconscious pain! Is a proven formula to heal your subconscious and is one of the most powerful tools to help you heal. However, this process will need you to face your feelings, which can be difficult for some people.

First of all I want you to take three deep breaths, which will instruct your subconscious mind to calm your nervous system. I want you to be open minded and then think of the experience that troubles you. Then write down exactly what hurts you, be as graphic as possible, feel the negative vibration and write it down.

As you allow these feelings to surface they may cause an intense feeling of hurt, pain, resentment or jealousy. Feel this and allow the memory to stand in front of you. I know this is painful but this negative frequency has been suppressed and must be released.

Next, visualize your partner, see her sitting opposite you and as you see her, take a deep breath and allow the hurt to rise through you. You now need to calmly express to her how she has harmed you, visualize telling her exactly how you feel. Just express the pain and tell her, in exact detail the effects that the pain has caused you in life.

While doing this, you will begin to feel a release.

In your visualization make sure your partner is simply listening, looking at you and not talking back. This is about you, getting your emotions out in the open, not you partner!

Once you have expressed everything, the next step is to take a deep breath and look them in the eye saying to yourself:

“I forgive myself for these negative emotions I have felt towards you, after all it is just a memory but most of all I forgive you for the harm you have caused.”

It is important that you say this with meaning and feeling, and once you have, you will feel a shift, your mind will clear and a you will feel free

You must forgive to stop your pain from resurfacing in your mind and self-sabotaging you. Forgiveness is the only way to be free from subconscious pain.

You have now identified your emotional pain and have used the power of forgiveness to set you free. The next and final step is to replace your old thought patterns with new empowering ones.

To do this, write down in the present tense a beautiful affirmation, something like this,

“I am so grateful to have been given the power to forgive. I can choose to forgive anyone, anywhere, whenever I decide. I love people and people love me. I have a wonderful, healthy relationship with my Higher Power. I listen to the nudges it gives me and it is a natural action too constantly reprogram my subconscious mind. I forgive, I love and I thank you.”

It is vitally important you write this text in the present tense. You must understand you have to be something before you can acquire anything in this world.

Once you have you positive affirmation, write it down on a card and read it out loud every day, as many times as possible. To add strength to your affirmation, record yourself reading it out loud and play it to yourself at least 6 times a day.




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PS Please let me know how you get on, you will need a lot of courage to carry this technique out, but I am sure that you will succeed.