Reading The Secret Over And Over – What’s My Next Move

by Confused Girl
(Las Vegas, NV)

I'm 21 years old, and I've been single for 3 years. One thing I know for sure is I Want a relationship, I Am ready for one.

The guy I met, a little over 5 months ago popped into my life for literally a second. I was busy wanting someone else to want me, that I didn't even really take notice to him, even though when I met him at a club with my friends, he took notice of me. We even danced and he kissed me that night, but I didn't think twice of it.

Well when the relationship I was trying to work on didn't work, this guy popped back into my life.

I didn't intend on meeting anyone, in fact I didn't even want to come out that night, but it was my friend's birthday.

While waiting and waiting and getting more agitated that the birthday girl was late, I wanted to leave and there he was, I wasn't so much surprised that he was there (the connection we have is his best friend is my friend's ex bf). I flirted a little bit, maybe unconsciously but it wasn't until we were inside that I really noticed him, his smile, his smell, and his jokes.

Long story short, we were inseparable the entire night. We exchanged numbers and when he had to leave for work he said he'd call to set up a date.

It wasn't even that long after I left the lounge that night that he texted. The attraction was instant. I saw him the next day and the next and the next for four weeks straight.

We'd spoken about what we wanted a little bit once while we were casually hanging out with friends, that he wasn't sure if he was ready to be committed (he had a previous 5 year relationship).

He had a planned family vacation and was going to be gone for 2 weeks, almost all of his time prior to the vacation was spent with me, I even helped him pack and took him to the airport.

With that said he called and texted me every day while he was away, up until he went on to the boat (he was going to be on a cruise for a week). This was tough for me considering we talked every single day.

As soon as he texted me when he was back in the states I could sense it, something was different. I could tell in the way he was talking. Everyone said I was overreacting, but i just knew better - one of those "gut" feelings.

When I picked him up from the airport it even felt different even though the actions were the same, but I brushed it aside because I missed him so much.

The next day we had to run errands, but it wasn't shaking, I could feel something was up, but I didn't want to say anything. He's usually always touching me, wanting kisses, wanting some sort of affection, but not anymore.. it was unnerving to me, what's wrong.

By the day's end I couldn't let it go anymore. I burst and said something is wrong and I want you to tell me what it is. And he said it, "I’m not ready to be in a committed relationship". There was no calm side of me, while now looking back I could've acted differently, I was too emotional, upset, screaming, stomping, explaining away everything all the while he's just saying I’m sorry this- I’m sorry that.

Long story even shorter - he asked for space, to "figure things out". That word. "space" - one word that has a definite meaning, but not in the world of relationships. I haven't seen him in almost 3 weeks and haven't spoken to him in a week and a 1/2. Feels like forever. I’ve called and texted twice, but no answer.

I miss him terribly, his smile, his touch, his laugh, our connection and while he's not my "boyfriend" we have something special and he means a lot to me. I visualize him in my mind, I tell him to call me in my dreams, I even have planted in my mind that when I see a penny heads up that will be the day he will call, but I sometimes feel a hesitance in my mind and I don't know why. I think I’m scared of letting go... what should I do?

I believe wholeheartedly he will call, he's a good guy, he wouldn't leave me hanging, and I’ve been reading The Secret over and over, practicing everything suggested to the T, but I’ve got that one itchy feeling that it won't work. Why?

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

To try to explain how the Law of Attraction works, I would like you to imagine the feelings and the thoughts you would have, if you were in the perfect relationship, right now.

Your feelings could be of trust, reassurance, contentment, happiness, loving, sharing, gratefulness, or indeed, any other thought and feeling that goes with this experience.

It is these feelings that make up your vibration, and the Law of Attraction responds to this vibration by aligning you to a cooperative reality, that matches your thoughts and feelings.

What that means is that the reality that you attract, is a match for your thoughts, and cooperates with the reality attracted by other people that are in your experience.

So if your thought about a relationship were trust, reassurance, contentment, happiness, loving, sharing and gratefulness, then the reality you attract must be a match to your thoughts, as well as a match to the person’s thoughts that you share the relationship with.

And this would go for all thoughts you have, on all situations, and all the experiences you have are a result of these thoughts.

In your question you begin by stating that you want a relationship. Although this sounds fine, there are actually two kinds of want. There is the wanting of the things you have, and there is the wanting of the things you do not have. And when you think about this want, it either feels good, because you have it, or it feels not so good, because you do not have it.

I’m guessing that the want that you express is more of the not so good feeling want, and you are feeling the lack of what it is you desire.

It is this feeling of want that you added to your vibration, and the Law of Attraction must respond to this vibration by aligning you to a cooperative reality, that matches your thoughts and feelings.

Simply put, if you want something from a position of not having it, you end up attracted an experience of being without this something, so that you can still feel the wanting of it.

To compound this further, you end your question stating that you miss him terribly, and in much the same way, you have added this missing of him to your vibration, and the Law of Attraction must respond to this vibration by aligning you to a cooperative reality, that matches your thoughts and feelings.

Simply put, if you miss something, you end up attracted an experience of being without this something, so that you can still feel the missing of it.

So what’s your next move?

The problem is that you are asking me for an action step to attend to your reality, in order to change your experience, but as your reality is brought to you based on your thoughts, unless you change your thoughts, your experience will always end up being what it is.

You are not alone here, as most people try to attend to the reality, by pushing this and that away, or chasing this and that, but what they are really doing is pushing one reality away, only to be brought into another reality that, pretty much, offers the same experience.

It is impossible to think in one way, and experience something in another way, as thought is the cause of the experiences you have, and everything you experience, will always be a match to your thought.

So what’s your next move?

Your next move, and the only move that you can make to change an unwanted reality, would be to attend to your thought.

Want a relationship, and you end up wanting more, miss someone, and you end up missing them more, this is Law.

But learn to think trust, reassurance, contentment, happiness, loving, sharing and gratefulness, then the reality you attract must be a match to these trusting, reassuring, contented, happy, loving, sharing and grateful thoughts.

Be what you most want to have, in mind, and you shall be what you most want to have, in reality, this is Law.

If you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…





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