Still Love Him

I am married and he is married, not to each other. We saw each other for five years, and stopped seeing each other 2 years ago. I can’t be happy in my marriage because I am always thinking of him.

Are we ever going to be together again?

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

You say that you can’t be happy in your marriage because you are always thinking of him, if that is the case, then really what you are saying is that you can never be happy in any relationship, because you can’t stop thinking of someone.

OK, if that’s the case, where do you go from here?

Do you have a choice?

Can you be with him and be happy? Or can you be without him and be happy?

It is your right, as it is everyone else’s right, to be happy. So I am just wondering, if this relationship gives you everything you suggest it will, why are you not together?

If it is the case that you don’t think you can be together, for whatever reason, it seems to me that you need to forget him, and start living your life. You are doing no one any favours by hanging on to a past, which has no relevance to now, and only brings to heartache and pain.

You need to stop affirming to yourself what ‘can’t be’, for it is untrue. It is not the case that you can never be happy in your marriage. It is only the case that you will only be happy if you allow yourself to be.

You state, “I can’t be happy in my marriage because I am
always thinking of him.” Now what chance do you have of being happy if that is what you affirm to yourself?

Far better to affirm gratitude for the love you shared with this person, as now you understand how good it feels to love in this way, and you now understand that through these feelings you shared, you know what you desire, and that is to love like this again.

You see it is not the person you crave, it is the experience.

If you were having the same kind of feelings with someone else, would you be thinking or desiring this guy?

I’m sure you would not.

So you need to give yourself a chance and start to put things into perspective.

Yes you can be happy, Yes you can be without this person, but only if you let yourself.

A great technique to help you drop these feelings of loss, is called The Sedona Method. I have posted a video as an introduction to Sedona, which you can watch here.

Read Esther and Jerry Hicks book, Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires, also John Grays book How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have

Heal Your Unconscious Pain is a fantastic way of overcoming negativity, this book is written by Chris Dines, author of Power, Love and Abundance.

Click Here To Read Heal Your Unconscious Pain it is written in pdf, so you’ll need Adobe Reader to read it (you should have it on your PC.


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Comments for Still Love Him

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Nov 23, 2009
You have a choice
by: Lynne H.

I am writing this comment because I have been exactly where you are now. I had a relationship with a married man while I myself was married (unhappily at the time) and I know the pain and anguish of not being able to let go.

It started while I was working with this man who I found impossible to resist. He wasn't all that special except to me but he had a certain sexual rawness about him that I found fascinating.

My marriage was stale and my husband drank too much and smoked too much and we had drifted apart. My friend was suffering from being rejected by his wife after just giving birth, which is very common. She was tired and cranky and put him off so he turned to someone who was looking for someone. Pretty soon it was a full out affair and went on for 4 years.

My life became a wreck and then one day I realized that it was me who had caused all of this pain and suffering, not just to me but to him, my husband and my family. My husband never knew about the affair but I think he kind of had a clue (he's not stupid by any means). In any case, it's been over 10 years now since the affair ended. This man moved away with his wife and child and I have found my way back to myself and my life.

What I really mean is that once I decided that I would put things right with myself and my husband, I began to forgive what I had done and what I was holding against my husband who loved me no matter what I did. He is a far better person than I gave him credit for and I am now too.

And by the way, I can't even remember those feelings I had for the other man now. In fact I'm a bit embarrassed that I allowed myself to become so infatuated with someone who cared so little about me, and that I had cared so little about myself. I cringe at the thought of the things I did so I just don't now (except in helping someone else). It was a very sobering and dark part of my life that I am well free of. At the same time though it's an experience that, like all of life's learning, has taught me the lesson I needed to grow beyond my narrow and stagnant existence.

Find your turning point and don't look back and you'll not regret making that decision. It won't be easy, but if you want it bad enough it will happen. Make a point to find the good in yourself and your husband, remember what made you love him in the first place and revisit those thoughts each day with gratitude. All the best and I know you'll find your way home.

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