The Law of Attraction And A Difficult Relationship

by Pu

I have been in a relationship with a guy for the past 9 years. I am divorced with two kids and my partner has never been married. We had so many plans, for example buying a house and living together (because we meet everyday but not staying together). Now, we have come to a point where he is being forced by his parents to marry someone of their choice and I will never be their choice, as I am divorced with kids.

My partner wants to please his parents but wants to stay with me also. So he decided to marry someone of their choice and still keep a relationship with me.

I am totally lost and I really don’t know how to address this problem to the Universe.

Please help me.

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

Of course the answer you would want to hear from me would be an instruction in which you could focus in a particular way so that the Law of Attraction will align you to a happy relationship with this guy.

But to bring him back to you in order for you to be happy, we would have to presuppose that your happiness depended upon his actions.

If this was the case, our ability to be happy must entirely depend upon the experiences that we were having, and of course it often feels this way, as when we experience sad things, these things make us feel sad, and when we experience good things, these things make us feel good.

It would therefore be completely natural to assume that to be happy we must manipulate our surrounding, and put pressure on the people who share our reality to do things in certain ways so that we can feel good about ourselves.

But is this was the case, does this not place our ability to be happy outside of our control and place it at the mercy of the people we interact with? And if it did, wouldn’t that make us victims of reality not the creators of it, and remove our power to alter any experience we were having, good or bad?

The Law of Attraction reverses this process by saying that we are the Cause, and the Effect that we see is the reality that is aligned to us.

The Law of Attraction says that as we think and feel we set in motion a power that aligns to us events, circumstances and people that are a match to our thoughts and emotions.

If it is the way we think and feel that is the cause of experiences, then surely to experience happiness, we must carry thoughts and feelings of happiness.

The process is not to try and manipulate our reality in order to feel a certain way, it is the reverse. That is to think and feel a certain way so that our reality can reflect our thoughts and emotions.

Unfortunately this is widely misunderstood, and many people will try to alter their own behavior as well as the behavior of others to make themselves and others feel better.

For example, your boyfriend is trying to alter his behavior in order to make the people in his reality happy, yet he is not achieving this ‘happiness’ for anyone.

He is going ahead with this arrangement to keep his family happy, and he is continuing his relationship with you in order to keep himself and you happy.

But his action does not work.

If and when his family find out about you they will not be happy, nor will his wife, and his attempts to remain in his happy relationship with you will surely cause you both a lot of pain.

So what can you do?

You need to understand that you cannot cause your reality to change by focusing on what you do not want and like. Don’t forget, the cause for your experiences is your thought and feeling, and if you focus on what you do not want or like the effect shall surly be a reflection of this focus, an unwanted and unliked reality.

It is also important to appreciate that you cannot change another’s reality by changing what you are thinking and feeling. Like you, they are not victims they are creators, and like you they have the freedom to choose their thoughts and feelings and ultimately the reality that reflects how they think and feel.

It is also worth mentioning that the temptation to want and need a change in your partners’ behavior will often cause you to focus on everything you do not like about them, and as a result, your reality will often bring you a range of these unwanted experiences.

Knowing that our reality will always reflect out thoughts and feelings is the key, because understanding this shows you that the only way to change an experience you are having is to change what you are thinking and feeling.

If you wish to experience pleasure you need to have pleasurable thoughts and emotions, not an easy thing to do when your reality seems to make you upset and sad I grant you, but it is the only way.

To do this, offer the unwanted parts of your experience little or no attention. Instead, focus your thoughts and emotions to those parts of your experience that are wanted and make you feel good, and through the direction of your focus, more wanted experiences will align to you.

This is best achieved by becoming familiar with what you have now that makes you feel good, and using these things to choose the direction in which to focus your thoughts and feelings.

Do this by listing the, “the things I like best about…” And spend some time each day focusing on this list. And then, whenever you think a thought or feel a feeling that contradicts these ‘best about’ things, focus your thoughts and feelings to the ‘things you like best about…’

I admit that it is not always easy to think about ‘good things’, particularly when you are experiencing ‘not so good things’, but in time, and with practice, it can be done.

And, as you continue to successfully master this, you will start to notice that the experiences you are having are predominantly made up of the good things you have been thinking.

I hope that you have found this information useful, and if you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…


John Peace

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Nov 18, 2012
saying with love
by: ramina

Dear Pu, I think its a must to point out your low self esteem, you think just because you have 2 kids men don’t want to marry or stick around, I have seen in my own life experiences with people that this is not true, I have met people who accepted with 2, 3, 5 kids and raised them as their own, I know a woman who has 2 kids and changes men as she wants, she is the one leaving them when she gets bored and these men want her back,

You see, its important to have love for yourself and how you see the world, the world is going to be, you have to see your situation as normal and think you will meet a man who will love you and accept you with 2-4 kids :) Have high standards, you deserve a best man for you, don’t settle, the reason they didn’t stick around because they were not a right man for you,

I would tell you to tell your man who has been with you so long and listens to his family, is not a real man, how can he possibly be a good husband and father, If a man truly loves you, he doesn’t wait 9 years, he wants you in his life now and forever, and this is also from life experiences and working with people,

Please don’t settle, tell him he has to make a decision if its his life or his parents, and if he is going to live all his life making his parents happy sacrificing his own and your happiness, then he is not your man,

I understand you love him, and wasted 9 years, but trust me, you have to end, leave something old, in order to open a beautiful experiences into your life, make a stand, and start your life fresh, and take time to love yourself, and spent time with yourself, and never settle, as John said, start thinking what you want and focus on that, I would recommend writing down what kind of man you want, not who will accept you, but you want, and when you feel lonely and feel you miss your bf, read the list, and just be, and you will get what you want,

We shouldn’t let anyone make us feel less, and sad, sending love, may peace be always with you.

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