The Law of Attraction And Dealing With A Breakup

by Eva
(The Netherlands)

About 6 weeks ago my relationship ended. We both new that the last Month we were a little silent to each other. There were no fights or negative things. I was just having a hard time dealing with some stuff. And made the mistake by not talking about it.

We have always been very close and where up to a month ago, in love. My ex felt that there where things going on. But we didn’t talk. I think it was because we were scared of losing each other.

My ex worked long hours and changed jobs so we could be together more. But the last 2 months my ex had to work and I realized I was having a hard time with this. I started to focus on the negative things not that I didn’t want to be with my ex but asking myself if this was going 2 make me happy. I didn’t realize that I should have been honest about it we could have figured this out because I know my ex would understand.

But I chose not to talk and started thinking for myself. I was scared we were together for a year and half. And were, I guess still figuring each other out. I was scared of losing my ex by telling what I felt but I didn’t realize I was pushing my ex away by doing this. The strange thing is we were very serious, we lived together and my ex was going to sell the house, so I always assumed we were solid, but on the other hand I obviously wasn’t. Because I didn’t say how I was feeling.

So the last month before breaking up my ex I felt there was something going on. We tried to talk to each other but didn’t really, I guess it was really strange we where in love but there was something and it felt like we both knew.

But I always thought we would figure it out together. It didn’t occur to me that I just had to say “I don’t wanna lose you, but I’m having a hard time with some stuff. It's not that I don’t wanna be with you.”

So when my ex started to feel this and panicked. It felt like now or never and decided to leave for a week and think. The first thought I had was, “I screwed up and got what I wanted because I was thinking all these thing.” Deep down I also thought maybe we just need some time. I was devastated but let my ex go. It absolutely didn’t occur to me to say what I was feeling and that I didn’t want to lose my ex. Maybe I needed some time off but I never wanted to lose my ex.

After a week my ex came back and told me the feeling wasn’t strong enough anymore. And strongly I didn’t fight my ex by saying I didn’t want to breakup. It felt like my ex had made a decision and I couldn’t do anything about it. I also thought that because we were so crazy about each other things would work out.

But after that my ex left and I started to realize that things may go differently. My ex needed some time alone and didn’t really want to talk about THE breakup.

I then went crazy because I realized I might never have a change. After a month my ex came and we talked about it. My ex confirmed the above. My ex said the fear was to big and it was too much to handle. My ex never wanted to leave me but felt there was no other choice. I didn’t want to much contact after THE breakup because it was devastating. My ex also told me that if I would just have been fair and declared my love things might have been different. But because my ex didn’t want to get hurt more he decided to just tell me THE feeling wasn’t there anymore.

I told my ex that I always thought we could have figured it out. My ex told my maybe when the time is right I just need space and to get my life in order. I agreed not saying how much I wanted him.

I feel the love and respect between us, but had the idea that by begging it wouldn’t work. My ex knows I would want to figure it out. But I also know I have to figure out some things. So I believe that this happened for à reason, but now I don’t know what to do.

I Miss my ex and I’m scared that things are not going to work out. Should I tell him how I feel?

Should I take some time off to let my ex see that I’m moving on?

I don’t know what my ex is thinking, if he’s moving on and things about us are just not a good match.

The longer I wait the more he slips away. I realize the relationship is over and the only way to fix this is if we start all over again. So I have to win my ex over and let him know the issues aren’t a problem anymore.

How can the law of attraction help me with this?

It's hard not focusing on what you don’t want and not being scared.

I realized after 5 weeks that I really want my ex back not just because I feel alone or just want to be comfortable but because if really miss him and believe we belong together.

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

To apply the Law of Attraction we need to change our predominant thoughts and feelings, and to do this, many people are told to visualize their desires, and match their thought and feelings as if their desires existed now, so that the Law of Attraction may align that reality to them.

As a process, this is fine. But, when it comes to relationships, because you cannot control the thoughts and feelings of others, it would be impossible to change the way you think and feel in order to change another’s experiences.

The only power you have is the control over your thoughts and emotions, your vibration. You can vibrate in a way that matches your desires, and in doing so, align to that reality, or you can vibrate in a way that matches the lack of your desires, and in doing so, align to that reality.

If then, you are to choose the thoughts and feelings that align you to the things you want to experience, you must ask yourself, what is it that I want to experience?

I know that you will probably answer this by saying that you wish to be back with your ex, but you must understand, your ex is not an experience.

Yes the experience of love, happiness and companionship has come from you being with him, but so has the experience of loneliness, disagreement and heartache.

The Law of Attraction will align cooperative events, circumstances and people to your reality that are a match to your vibration, so it is in fact the case that your ex has become a cooperative part of your experience, as a match to the way you vibrate. That is, the experience you both shared was a match to your predominant thoughts and feelings, as well as his.

Although you cannot change his experiences by changing your thoughts and feelings, you can change yours. And, as he has been a cooperating part of your experience in the past, it is possible that he could become a cooperating part of your experience in the future. (Actually when you think about it, he is cooperating in your experience now, it’s just that your predominant thoughts and feeling are to the lack of him, and to cooperate with that vibration, he must stay away).

So how do you change your thoughts and feelings when, for the moment, your reality is mostly unwanted, and you think and feel the loss that you have experienced?

I admit that this is quite difficult, and is probably the main reason that people fail to master the Law of Attraction, but it can be done.

To begin with, I would not suggest that you try to match your thoughts and feelings to the reality you want, that would be an almost impossible for you to do, but I would suggest that you come to terms with where you are now, so you stop thinking and feeling about what you do not have.

To do this, invest in a book and list the experiences of now that give you some happiness and make you feel more positive.

List the best things about your friends…

List the best things about your family…

List the best things about your home…

List the best things about your work…

Spend some time every morning and every evening focusing on these things, and feeling the positive feeling that these things offer you.

Then, as you go about your day, whenever you think a thought or feel a feeling, which does not feel good or does not match the happiness you are desiring, focus your mind back to your ‘best thing’, and try to adjust your feelings to what is the best of now.

You will find that as you practice this, you will find it easier to remain positive and happy, and as you do, you shall align to experiences that offer you more positive and happy thoughts and feelings.

If you would like to do this in a structured and progressive way follow my Unlock The Power WorkBook, it has been specifically written to provide a systematic process to change someone’s vibration.

I cannot tell you that this will bring your ex back to you, but as he has been a cooperating part of your experiences in the past, then it will give him every opportunity to re-align to the happy and positive you.

I would also suggest that you are honest with your ex and that you tell him how you feel. Not to force or coerce him back to you, but to do so with no expectation or conditions.

If you unconditionally love this man, make it a condition that you do not expect him to change who he is, in order to keep you happy.

Understand that happiness is a state of mind that does not depend on outside conditions. It is a choice, a decision that you make for yourself, and for as long as you chooses to be happy, and focus on what you have that gives you happiness, you shall align to everything and anything that matches the way you feel.

I hope that you have found this information useful, and if you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…


John Peace

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