The Law of Attraction In Relationships

by Keerthana

I met my boyfriend 1.5 years ago, and he was almost everything I was looking for in a partner. The only difference was that he was 5 years younger than me. We had a long distance relationship, but communicated a lot, and decided to get married.

However his mother opposed to as he is 5 years younger and did a lot of things that made me upset. I started taking this out on him and we started fighting every time we talked about marriage, which was a lot. If this topic was not discussed we got along well.

Recently we had a big fight and I feel disillusioned, like I have lost all trust and hope in him, in myself and in life.

How do I get out of this negative spiral, make things positive and make our relationship work?

I started a gratitude journal, but I still get negative thoughts and at the feeling level there is a lot of fear of being abandoned.

How do I change my life?

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

The Law of Attraction works on the principle that, based on your predominant focus, circumstances and situations are brought to your reality in order for you to continue that focus.

To expand on this, I would describe your focus as your vibration, which is made up of your thoughts, feelings and beliefs, and the circumstances and situations you attract, being the people, opportunities and events, which are a cooperative match to your focus.

In other words, you attract people, opportunities and events that are a cooperative match to what you think, feel and believe.

For example, if you were short of money, and your focus was on your debt, that is, you thought about the lack of money, felt worried about being able to pay bills, and believed that your finances were poor, you would attract a reality that cooperated with your vibration, one where you continued to think about not enough and worried about shortage, regardless of what you wanted.

To change this experience, you would have to change your focus., you would have to think about spending money instead of debt, you would have to feel optimistic and hopeful instead of worried, and you would have to believe that you had money, regardless of the reality you were experiencing. And if you were to do this, people, opportunities and events would align to your experience as a match to your focused thoughts, feeling and beliefs.

This is the purpose of visualization, because as you visualize, it becomes easier to think, feel and believe in your desires, even though they have yet to manifest.

Of course, when it comes to the Law of Attraction, what can be said about our relationship with money, also applies to our relationships with people, and the same principles apply.

I am sure that before your boyfriends Mother’s intervention, a conversation about marriage between you both would have ended with pleasure and satisfaction. But then, as his Mother seemed to hold your desires away from you and the way forward seemed to be blocked, the conversation felt uncomfortable and dissatisfying.

As you thought and felt about this uncomfortable and dissatisfying conversation, you added it to your vibration, and as you did, aligned to circumstances that matched these thoughts and feelings.

Then, as you approached the subject again, already aligned to a less than desirable outcome, you anticipated a poor response, which lead to an argument. You thought about the argument, felt about the argument, added it to your vibration, and in turn, aligned to a similar experience in the future.

To a point now that with so much thought, and so much feeling, you believe that when the subject of marriage is approached, an argument shall manifest.

In other words, you attract people, opportunities and events that are a cooperative match to what you think, feel and believe.

The trouble is, like you suggest in your question, this negativity tends to spiral, as you think, feel and believe quite the opposite of what it is you desire. And left uncontrolled, these arguments shall increase in intensity and spread into other parts of your relationship.

So how do you change the way you think and feel to stop this negativity from spiralling out of control?

Many people may try and visualize their most wanted desires, and attempt to match their focus to what it is they want. But this can prove to be difficult, as what you are experiencing is so far away from what you want, and often, visualizations can only serve to make you feel worse.

Personally, I don’t belief that visualizations would be the answer, at least until you were far more satisfied with where you are today.

Your Gratitude Journal is definitely a step in the right direction, as the more you focus your thoughts to the things that are positive, then the more you should align to these positive things.

However, just keeping a journal will probably not go far enough, as you will still be experiencing thoughts of disillusionment, lack of trust and hopelessness, and it wont be until you replace these thoughts, that you will align to an enchanting, confident and promising future.

To do this, I would suggest that you select a number of your gratitude statements, covering a variety of experiences you are having, in particular, gratitude statements about the relationship with your boyfriend.

Write these statements as affirmations, something like, “I am so happy and grateful that my boyfriend makes me feel ………………………” (fill in how you feel, what he does, etc etc.)

List these affirmations and use them to focus your thoughts. Do this every morning and every night, committing them to memory.

Then, as thoughts of disillusionment, lack of trust and hopelessness come to mind, for-get them, that is, get something for them, repeat your affirmation of positivity to counter your thought of negativity.

Use your affirmations to replace your negativity as soon as you are aware of it, and as you do, slowly and surely, your positivity shall begin to reverse the spiral you have been descending, and in turn, change the experiences you have been aligning to.

If you follow my Unlock The Power WorkBook, you will find many techniques that have been specifically designed to help someone raise their vibration and come to terms with where they are today, which is such an important part of mastering the Law of Attraction.

I hope that you have found this information useful, and if you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…


John Peace

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