The guy I like doesn't say ‘yes’ to me because his parents will never accept love and inter caste marriage, as his family has a totally different culture (somewhat old) and I’m unable to adjust in that.
Also in his family ‘Love Marriage’ is not allowed. He said that his parents would kill him if he dares to do this. He doesn't even talk to me about this topic. He loves me but he has a belief that marriage should be in same caste.
He has negative thoughts towards marriage that this is not possible.
My parents are also not ready. But I really love him. He also loves me a lot. What should I do?
Should I keep visualising an end result i.e. marriage with parents and everyone happy?
Will this result in a successful marriage with agreement of both parents??
Before I answer your question, for the benefit of other readers I would like to explain the Caste issues in countries like India.
“For years, Indians had an orthodox mindset. They couldn't imagine inter caste marriages. They had a conception that marriages are only possible in the same community and caste.
Talking about inter caste and inter religion marriages in India was a taboo for most people in the earlier days. However, with time, things changed and inter caste marriage also became a part of the society.
Marriages are regarded as the most important social custom and hence, were viewed as the best means to remove the barrier of caste system.
Today, in Indian society, though we can see inter caste marriages, but mostly it is the part of the city culture. The rural parts of the country still have a long way to go.”
It is often the case that when a person is born into a family or community that adheres to a strong religious belief, they grow up with strict rules and practises that are designed to promote these beliefs, and govern the way they tend to think.
These rules were not only designed to govern the way people think about our spiritual world, but protected the way religion thought about our physical world as well. The rules protect the one idea of their God, and are there to try and ensure their followers don’t stray from this way of thinking.
These rules, although they may have been relevant at a certain time, have less and less relevance in society today.
In early history, man had the idea that there were many Gods. As Man experienced different kinds of misfortune and difficulties, it was a natural development to put blame on the Gods, and as Man has always experienced many difficulties, he needed many Gods, Devils and Evils to blame.
But as we have developed we have realised that there could not be many powers, as the Cause of Everything must begin with one, Unity.
But to this day, Man has had a misguided idea of Unity. We’re taught and preached Unity, yet at the same time we are taught Duality. We are taught that Good comes from one place and Evil from another, a duality of Heaven and Hell, Good and Evil or God and The Devil.
A Universe divided against itself.
The belief in duality has robbed theology of power and has polluted philosophy with untruths; it has divided science against itself and has made countless thousands go through life with saddened hearts.
The belief in duality has given rise in theology to the idea of a God and a devil, each with equal power to impose upon man a blessing or a curse, and men have worshiped a devil just as they ever worshiped God.
Many men and teachers of Scriptures have claimed to be teaching the Word of God by preaching a fear of damnation. A threatening chant of “follow my word, the Word of God, or be cast into the darkness, thrown to the fire and burn in Hell”
This is an appalling thought, and an even more appalling way to teach!
Yes it gets attention, but to what end?
To congregate a group of poor individuals to fall to their knees in fear of destruction and condemnation is a desperate act, and a desperate way to teach.
In their defence, such lessons must be taught from the belief that they speak the truth.
But the time has come for a clearer understanding of the true Nature of God. That there is a God is difficult to deny, but a God of Vengeance and Hate? A God of Destruction and Rage?
Could we truly believe that such a God exists, and keep our sanity?
The most that we can believe about such a God, is that there is no such being.
The Caste system, or indeed any ‘fear’ of change, has never benefited anybody, and the sooner the children born into the bondage of these restrictive practises, learn to break free, the sooner we will all live in a more peaceful, tolerant, appreciating and loving society.
But you cannot force change, don’t forget, “what you resist, persists.” This is a lengthy process of understanding, patience and care. It is not something to fear, it is something to embrace.
Embrace it, love it, accept it for what it is, and change will come.
You have seen the light, and it is through your eyes that others can follow.
Watch this film from Abraham-Hicks, explaining the differences in our religious leaders, and why their followers are so stuck in their ways, it’s called, “Why Buddha, Christ and Mohammed?”
In your situation, you cannot force anyone to turn his or her back on any way of thinking, yet that does not stop you from being free to express your thought in any way you see fit.
You can teach, you can educate, you can support and you can help. But it is to each individual, their responsibility, and their freedom to think.
You may think that your partner has less freedom than you because he won’t turn his back on the bandage of the rules and laws of his family’s beliefs. But that is not the case. He has the freedom of thought, and may express his thought in any way he wishes.