The Law of Attraction Worked. Then He Disappeared
I am 46 years old and have been divorced for several years. After a few short relationships, I have been using Law of Attraction manifestations, meditations and vision boards to see myself in a healthy and loving long term relationship with an equal partner. And then I met him.
A little over four months ago, I started dating a very compatible man. I know I was in a good spot when I met this man, vibrating very high. It was so easy to be with him, and we mutually enjoyed spending many days and nights together. I had never felt a man be so present with me in bed. He was "in the relationship." We planned dates, trips. We talked and connected throughout the day. He was as much into me as I was into him. He was thoughtful and giving. I truly was beginning to see our very long future together.
My boyfriend is 48 and never been married. He had a devastating break up within the last year when his fiancé decided that she no longer wanted to get married. I know he has a lot of emotional scars from this.
We had not reached a point to saying "love" to each other but I felt it from him and I know he felt it from me. I knew it was a short matter of time before I would clarify with words what my actions already showed.
About six weeks ago, as we started a long weekend together, he did a utter and complete U-turn. He went onto say that he wasn't sure how he felt. Maybe he still had feelings for his ex. He was freaking out. Completely needed to step away for a few days, a week or so and go into his cave to try to figure out what he felt.
I was devastated and could not understand why this happened. I just wanted things to go back to the relationship that we were having. I found a way to let him go into the cave without raging over the change of events. We slowed things down but it's just not the same. He is not that present anymore. Rarely shares his feelings. He never asks me how I am doing. Our amazing sex life has become depressing. I miss him so much. I rarely hear from him during the day and maybe an occasional late night and quick hello. We still see each other but our long weekends and easy days together are gone.
I should mention that 3-4 days after returning from the cave, he had a motorcycle accident that caused him to break him arm, injure his ankle and knee. Luckily I was nearby and helped him to the hospital and spent time helping with his recovery. He has been on a few meds for pain and swelling over the last 4 weeks. The last time he really expressed emotions or feelings for me was during the hospital visit and the day after.
I feel I went from being in a relationship to having a man that just "dates" me every once in awhile. I do not want this. I want a relationship and to have both people present in one. I could probably understand more of what's going on if he would just share and talk more about what he is feeling. He just says, "Wants to keep it simple day to day." And that he is not sure "that he'll be ever able to fall in love again."
I have been practicing the Law of Attraction with gratitude focus on what I do have with him. The very hard part - it's so dramatically different that I feel like I am dating two different men. If I met this current man four months ago, I am not sure I would have even gone out with him past the first or second date. I keep believing that with the Law of Attraction I can manifest what I experienced with him. Somewhere below the surface, it just seems he is fearful and not willing to let me in.
I know he was falling in love with me. And then it all stopped. What do I do? Shall I just start opening myself to dating other men, and other possibilities of long committed mutual loving relationships. Based on what I am experiencing, I don't believe I am part of a desire manifestation for him. I can't manifest another person's desire or reality. Should I do something different here or just move on?
Thank you... Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply
When you were manifesting a relationship, you explained that you, “have been using Law of Attraction manifestations, meditations and vision boards to see myself in a healthy and
loving long term relationship with an equal partner.” The words, “to see myself in a….” are probably the most important part of how you say you manifested your desires.
Charles Haanel put it this way…… “live the spirit of a thing, and it will become impossible to keep it from you.” And this is the exact process by which you were able to manifest the object of your desires.
Through adopting the vibration (thought and feeling), that matched the spirit of a new relationship, you aligned to events, circumstances and people that matched the vibration you were holding, and made this ideal relationship a part of your reality.
So why would it be, when all vibrations matched, and you were experiencing what you had focused on, was this reality replaced by one that in no way represents what you would wish for?
You touched on this in your question when you stated that, “I can't manifest another person's desire or reality.” To understand this lets look at the process the Law of Attraction follows.
As you were focusing on what you desired, a variety of events, circumstances and people aligned to your experience, in order to manifest the match to your focus. But this manifested reality did not only match your focus, it matched the vibration of each event, every circumstance and all people involved, as a cooperative reality in which all vibrations matched all experiences.
If all our realities were a cooperative match to all the people we experience, it begs the question about what would happen, if someone within this cooperative experience were to change their focus? Simply put, if there was a shift in vibration within this experience from one or any of the individuals involved, the reality would have to change.
It seems that for some reason the thought and feeling of either you or your boyfriend is no longer a match to the relationship manifested. That as you both experience this new, not so ideal relationship, you have both changed the way you think and feel, and you no longer live the spirit of what you desire, as the lack of this experience makes it difficult to do so.
Before this relationship began, do you remember the anticipation you had as you were practising your affirmations about this new and exciting relationship?
Where is that anticipation now?
Before this relationship began, do you remember the hope you had as you were practising your visualizations about this new and exciting relationship?
Where is that hope now?
Before this relationship began, do you remember the joy you had as you were looking over your vision board about this new and exciting relationship?
Where is that joy now?
Before you were with this person you had anticipation, hope and joy at the possibility of your desires becoming a reality, yet now, as you recognise that this relationship has fallen short of your expectations, your anticipation, hope and joy have also fallen short, and that can only lead to more short falls in the future.
It is time to step back and see this relationship for what it is, not what it lacks.
If there is pleasure, then see it.
If there is happiness, then see it.
And if there is joy, then see it.
Look at what you have, not what you are missing and focus your thoughts and feelings to the best of now, after all, now is where everything is.
But also begin to re-align your vibration to the things you desire, find the anticipation, the hope and the joy that is the spirit of the relationship you desire. Make what you wish for a part of your vibration, and as you have already witnessed, the matching events, circumstances and people will find you.
Should you then let go and move on?
To move on I cannot say as, when it comes to your boyfriend, I have no idea about his vibration, but to let go, you must.
Let go of what is lacking, what is wrong and what is missing, and at least you will give him an opportunity to become a match to your desires, if he can, and if not, he will have no choice but to leave this ‘unmatching’ manifestation.
To help you with this process follow the steps in my Unlock The Power WorkBook
I hope that you have found this information useful, and if you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…
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