This Cannot Be Happening to Me, Still.....

I have had a very colorful life. The "good" was good and the "bad" was interesting and never lasted very long. As an adult, I had many years of getting everything I wanted, in all areas of my life. I finally felt the way I had imagined others lives must be like. I never took it for granted and felt like I was being rewarded for coming thru many trials all of my younger years.

Without going into too much stuff, 10 years ago I left my husband, new house, pool, etc.... I moved into a very upscale apartment without a job in site. I had no doubt that I would quickly and easily find a job, new friends, old friends, new man, etc...In 2 months time, I was more broken down than ever in my life. No one helped me in any way. Even my mother treated me differently and still blames me for the state I am in today. I think I felt guilty for leaving my husband and attracted "punishment" to myself.

Well, I never got a job. Lost everything and have been living with a man that took advantage of me when I had no one else. I resent him, hate his dirty house, (he won't let me clean it up), he is a hoarder, rude, overweight and sometimes abusive. It's just that if not with him, I would be living out of my old car.

He has an on again off again business that pays for my basic bills. I just spent 3 weeks house sitting for a relative in his million-dollar home. He trusts me and knows that I miss my old lifestyle but has no idea just how bad it really is. I appreciated every minute there until I had to come home to what I consider (1 step above homeless.)

Finally....My question. How can I "feel" and "believe" I will again have a better home, money, boyfriend, etc.....when 24/7 I am surrounded by what I hate? And how do i stop feeling that to be "happy now", feels like I think this is "Acceptable"? I'm 50 years old and quit smoking 2 years ago, workout, and continue to find ways to improve but my boyfriend does everything to keep me from that. I even have to hide my books and affirmations because it makes him treat me badly.

I would rather kill myself than to think I will end up wasting the rest of my life like this. Can you give me a way to transition out of this while living with someone that does Not want me to change for the better? Thank you so much.

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

The experiences we have are brought to us as a result of our thoughts and feelings. What we think about most and feel most aligns a reality in which our most thoughts and feelings can continue.

Of course I am not suggesting that you knowingly focused on attracting the experiences you are having, but by experiencing a contrasting reality, by thinking about what you did not want and feeling emotions towards what was happening, you aligned to a reality in which you could continue to think about what you did not want, and have the emotions that you had been feeling.

Which then leads you to that million dollar question…..

How can you think and feel in a way that matches your desires, when your current reality is made up of so many unwanted parts that stop you from thinking and feeling good?

This is not an easy thing to do, because as you focus on what you want and attempt to adopt the thoughts and feelings of having it now, sooner or later you’ll have to face the reality that you have, and no matter how hard you try, facing the unwanted after thinking and feeling in the wanted will often feel worse. And as it feels worse to face what you do not want, and as you then think about how and when it will change, all these thoughts and feelings will muddy the water of the good thoughts you tried to put out there, so that all you end up doing is attracting a reality that feels worse, and where the questions of how and when need answering.

In fact, to think happy now when you are feeling unhappy now is almost impossible, as unhappy now will always be biting the heels of your attempts to feel happy.

You say that, “24/7 I am surrounded by what I hate?” which I would say is your very first place to start.

If you believe you are surrounded by what you hate…. this is the thought.

If you see your surroundings and hate them….. this is the feeling.

And until you change what you think and feel you will continue to attract this reality.

To change your reality, you have to change what you think and feel about it. You have to find some aspect of what you have that you like so that you can focus on the things that make you feel good.

I appreciate that this is difficult, particularly when you believe that so much is wrong, but unless you change the way you look at your reality, your reality will not change.

If you continue to believe that you have lost everything, you will continue to lose.

If you continue to believe that he takes advantage of you, he’ll take advantage.

If you continue to feel resentment towards him, he’ll offer you some behaviour for you to resent.

If you continue to think of him as rude and abusive, he will manifest this thought you have of him towards you.

You create your reality by what you think, so to change your reality you must change what you think.

Just think, if you have lost everything, you have plenty to gain, it’s just another way of looking at things.

On a practical note I would suggest that you invest in a book to help you to list any positive thing that you have going on in your life.

I understand that this is difficult, but you have a home, you have your bills paid, you have your mind, you have access to the computer, you have appreciation for a contrasting way of living, whatever it is, find some aspect of now that feels OK.

Also, when you first got together with this man, what was it that attracted you? What is it about him that you like?

List everything you can about your reality that feels good, and spend time each day focusing on the things that feel good. Then when you feel lost, think about these good things. When you feel taken advantage of, think about these good things. When you feel resentment, think about the good things. When you feel that he is rude and aggressive, think about these good things.

Fill your mind and emotions with the things that you have now that feel better, and you shall start to align to better things.

Is this acceptance?

Far from it…. Acceptance is experiencing something, thinking about and feeling about that thing, and realigning to it regardless of whether wanted or unwanted. What I would suggest you do is to not accept the things you do not want by refusing to think and feel them, this is designing, and as you choose your thought you will begin to choose your experience.

Once you have happiness within you shall align to happiness with the out and no event, circumstance or person shall be a part of that happiness you hold, unless they help you to feel that way, that is Law.

With Gratitude

John Peace

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There is a way out
by: Ramina G

Some things happen to people because they get out of their path that was the right path, some things happen because they were chosen by your soul to experience in order to learn, there are many theories we can go into, but without knowing you in person its hard to tell why. Usually working with clients closely we find out why and how to solve it. But in your case i truly understand what you mean, i have been in a situation where it was hard reality to imagine any good feelings, when you are done visualizing you open your eyes and feel disappointment, which causes more disappointment manifest into your reality. Everything i am saying because i mean to help. You can try it and see if it will work for you. Don't imagine million dollar house, your old way of living. Start with basics, and something you need to get to a positive state of mind first, which is somewhere else to live, away from abusive negative situation. Every time negative happens at home, abusive, don't focus on that, go to another room, or lock yourself in a bathroom and give thanks for it, say i give thanks for this situation, it has taught me a lot, and made me appreciate more, and you can list what, you can ask, pray, say that i choose to learn another way, i choose harmonious life, and peaceful environment. It is my choice and i choose ( you state what), everyday, when you wake up, give thanks for the shelter you have, and the food you eat, and small things like that, that is essential to you that you have it, Forgive and understand your current boyfriend, forgive and release, he obviously mentally and emotionally unstable. Every time he hurts you, bless him, say i bless so and so, i am sending blessing to so and so until it feels good, MOst important is you need to also work on yourself, pay attention to your thoughts and emotions about yourself and others, Obviously you are judging yourself for your as you call mistakes, there is nothing you can do about that now, it only keeping you away form the life you truly deserve. Please bless yourself and every day, say I am releasing negativity and accepting love and light. Those affirmations you have wont do anything if you dont feel them. you need to make your own, or at least say a few, the ones that help you forgive release negativity, otherwise they wont be any use. I tried to keep it as short as possible,
Please join me in my facebook page, The Ugly Truth To Happier Life. to receive understanding of self and others.
I wish you all the best, and may your heart and mind find peace and joy.

Ramina G

It Works!
by: Susan D

Thank you so much for sending this today. I have almost forgotten that I wrote that. Starting in May, I lost 30 lbs and left my boyfriend, I put myself on an online dating site, saw someone near my hometown out of state. The first and only person I wanted to meet turned out to be the love of my life! I have never been away from him since the first time I met him. I did have trouble getting a job at first but have been working for a couple of weeks now and feel so much better about myself and my future. It's not the job I had hoped for but its getting better. I want to be able to get all my old things from my boyfriends house but not sure how to do it in a peaceful way yet. I have gotten better at feeling good and seeing situations change from bad to good now. I am understanding how this works so much better! I am so grateful for help like yours and believe that I can be and do whatever I choose to. Thank you, Thank you.

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