Through appreciation, illness was seen to be a healing experience

by Hazel B
(Eastbourne, East Sussex)

I woke in the early hours of Sunday morning feeling nauseous. I spent the whole day lying completely still as any movement made me feel dizzy and faint.

Several of my colleagues had had time off work due to a virus but I knew that somehow I had to get to work the next day as I had the work books needed by students for their exam on Monday.

Late Sunday afternoon, I felt the unexpected impulse to sincerely appreciate this situation. There was a tingling sensation all over my body and I "saw" black smoke in the shape of a body, float up and disintegrate. I fell asleep feeling quite peaceful.

I woke up at 6.00am feeling completely better and drove to work. As I walked across the car park feeling so glad to be alive and well, I noticed that the black trousers I was wearing were not right for me. I realised that every day I wore either a black blouse or black trousers with brighter colours. All my shoes and bags were black. It was a sort of uniform to simplify the question of what to wear. But now I saw that black felt heavy and oppressive and I would never wear it again. That week I donated all my black clothes to charity and bought a purple handbag.

This experience taught me that when negativity arises in the form of illness, mood or life circumstances, it is so easy to identify with it and fall into suffering. But there is the option to see the negativity as passing THROUGH ME for clearing, instead of something bad happening TO ME.

I've noticed that when negativity arises I often forget that there is the choice to suffer or to allow and welcome the energy to pass through. Suffering seems to be a sort of amnesia. When I "wake up" and remember the choice, I vow to never forget it again. But I do.

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