Understanding The Law of Attraction If He Loves Me - Will He Come Back
I was dating a married man for two years. We fell in love, when I met him he was sorting out what he wanted for his life. There were some flip flops, he told me he loved me - was going back in forth over coming to get me and fear of losing his family, and being the bad guy.
After the most recent flip flow, or should I say the most drastic, it came out, after I expressed my needs, that is was in no way in a position to think about upending his life because of everything going on - starting a new career, fear of leaving his family, life changes, etc; and basically, that he would be sad, but would understand if I needed to move on.
Then he kept tracking me down to ask if I was breaking up with him ... because obviously he was re-evaluating, but the email was very harsh. I wrote a nice one back, then he wrote back apologizing for being a jerk. That is loved being my boyfriend, and did not mean to break up with me, and would do anything short of upending his life.
I told him that he did break up with me, his email could not have been read another way. And, that I was scared too, but tried to be responsible for what comes out of my mouth. It's hard to take by harshness, we undoubtedly came out because he was scared - but it hurt me. So, I told him, in a nutshell, I would consider going to my therapist with him because I needed some clarity, and was involved in a situation I new little about ... basically, I would need his help to come to a healthy conclusion that would benefit both of us.
My intention was to have the therapist refer him to someone to see on his own - to sort out his own stuff without me. Anyway, it was just a consideration, but the only possibility I saw at the time. He was regretful, wanted to have things back to the way things were two weeks prior - laughing, loving, talking about interesting things, etc.
But, you can't go back - he already flip flopped too much for me; things need to move forward; and, it was my only way of getting beyond it. Anyway, he said he would go if I really wanted him to; would do anything short of upending his life, but anything to make me happy.
I saw this as a charade, to get back to the status quo where he could come and go as he pleased without taking responsibility for the direction of things. So, I simply wrote back "I would never want anyone to do that which they are unwilling to do. I accept that it's over (note, I never "broke up with him”); and I am sad."
He wrote back, "If that is what you want, I accept it to (making it as if I had a choice); and I am sad too; We made a perfect couple” And, that was it. He sent me one silly text the next day ending in I miss you, but I deleted it.
It is my feeling, that only with time apart, and not with me there letting him have his cake and eat it to, will he really have the time and space to re-evaluate things and figure out what he wants, and then be motivated to take proactive steps toward achieving those goals.
It is my feeling, that as long as he thinks I have accepted the status quo, there will be no need to change it, and this flip flop could go on for years. I thought the only possible way of saving anything, was for it not to get too messy toward the end, be kind, accept where he is, but at the same time respect myself and maintain my needs.
Both of our needs are at odds now; and, he knew from the very beginning I had no intention of dating him under these circumstances indefinitely. We both knew that, and that is how we got into it ... and, now I feel he is trying to change it into, I am not thinking about doing anything, we are wonderful together, why can't we just be like that, and why do I have to do anything?
I am heartbroken, but felt as if this were the only way to go. I feel as if I need to heal, and that if it was meant to be, in time, the time he spends without me, if he loves me, he will really be forced to thinking clearly and strongly about what he
wants .... and, if he wants me, he will come and get me the right way; I can't beg him to look at things now or make it my way; I have to respect him too, but I also have to respect myself.
Did I handle this in the best possible way?
He knows I love him, and feel has to respect me for standing up for myself while not trying to force his hand. This was not an ultimatum, I asked for what I needed and he told me he was in no place to consider it .... that was before things ended, and then his tune changed a little because he still wants me around.... but, by me not being around, that is the only way. I can't do anything now with him except be happy with the fact that none of my needs are being met while he goes off and lives another life. Painful.
So, if this man really loves me, with this time apart (actually we both think we are broken up now), cause some real changes to be made? If he re-evaluates things at this point, while I am away, is it possible if he loves me that he will come back and want to at least try to work through these issues and do things the right way. Right now, he gave me his bottom line: He is not leaving ... I told you he flip flops ... that could mean for now or never, but the only way, I thought, to find out, was to leave him alone without me to make any kind of personal growth.
We are both devastated, but I feel I must be strong and cannot contact him unless he comes back with something more to offer ... and not just this I am complacently going through the motions and not thinking about any of it .... I was kind and loving, and also we had wonderful and intimate times together, not just physical, but emotionally.
The whole thing is very sad. I feel like he let his fear override the beautiful relationship that was unfolding. Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply
I really don’t think that you could have handled this in any other way.
The important thing is to align to the best of what this relationship offered you, rather than the worst.
If you truly love this guy, then this love must be unconditional, as should any love. And as an unconditional love, your greatest wish for him is that he is happy. Whether that happiness is with you, or without you.
Any other love, a love that carries a condition of change, is not true love, and thoughts of anything less than true love, must result in the corresponding reality.
One of the most powerful expressions of self that you can make, is the expression of forgiveness, and in this expression you can find both the strength to let him go, as well as the power to recreate the conditions of your life you most truly desire.
Forgiveness is the biggest remedy for pain, as it releases the conditions that keep you recreating that painful experience.
Heal Your Unconscious Pain is a fantastic way of overcoming negativity, this book is written by Chris Dines, author of Power, Love and Abundance.This e-book is going to show you how to heal yourself. Do not be fooled or judgemental by the simplicity and short content. These tools are Power!
You will need to be ready for the shift you are about to receive, though the shift will happen only when you take action. No action = no results.
So relax and take a deep breath. All is safe and you must be ready to heal because you have attracted this writing.Click Here To Read Heal Your Unconscious Pain
it is written in pdf, so you’ll need Adobe Reader
to read it (you should have it on your PC).
It may be the case that he may come back to you, and be able to offer you an agreement of himself that suites the relationship that you most want to develop, but to be honest, you have no control over that.
I would be wary of hanging on to the thread of this working, as this will only serve to prolong the lack of what this relationship had, which can only result in an alignment of more, and similar experiences.
If you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…Law-of-Attraction-Guide.com
Finally... A Step-by-Step System
To Master The Law of Attraction
Click Here To Claim Your FREE Lessons
P.S. Why not come and connect with me on FaceBook
CLICK HERE to join Our Law of Attraction Facebook Community