Use The Law of Attraction To Fall More Deeply In Love
I have been with my partner for 6 years and he has recently asked me to marry him. He really is a wonderful guy who is so good to me. We've lived together for 2 years now and really never fall out. We laugh a lot, we're great friends. Our sex life isn't as exciting as it was 6 years ago but I would certainly describe it as very healthy. My family and friends love him. My head tells me that he's perfect for me.
My gut feelings though aren't so sure.
My heart got horribly broken 10 years ago when my last relationship came to an end (my partner at the time leaving very unexpectedly). I was very deeply in love with this man and honestly never for a moment of our time together questioned whether I wanted to be with him.
The thing is that I always envisaged that if I married someone, he would be the love of my life. If I was to answer honestly, I would have to say that I had been far more deeply in love with my ex when I was with him, than I have ever been with my current partner.
When I got together with my current partner I didn't really fall in love in the same way, I just recognised that he was a really great person and so agreed to date him. I wasn't sure if I didn't feel so in love because I was still recovering from breaking up with my ex. I suppose I didn't expect to ever feel that way about anyone again.
People were advising me to give the relationship a go as he was such a great guy. People talked of how love can grow and that sometimes this sort of love is a far stronger basis for a relationship, others said that the sparks at the start of a relationship never last anyhow.
As time went by I definitely grew to love my partner very much, and I still do now. I care about him hugely. I would describe him as my best friend and I would describe us as a really great team.
My problem is that when I think about marrying him I feel this sad sort of sinky feeling in my gut. People often say that you know when you have met the right person- maybe I know that I haven't.
I would hate to break his heart, and it seems such a sad thing to give up on us when there are so many real strengths there. There is hope though. There are times when I do feel those 'in love feelings' with him, and at those times I do feel like I would very happily marry him. If only I could feel this way more consistently.
What I want to know is, can I use the law of attraction to make myself feel more in love with my partner?Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply
I do agree that love can grow, but I also appreciate that love can only grow as much as you allow it to.
You attract to your life what you give you focus, energy and attention to, whether wanted or unwanted. In other words, all your experiences in life are caused by what you are focusing on most strongly, whether you are conscious of it or not.
Your thoughts are Causes, and the Conditions you experience are Effects.
If there is any wanted Effect in your life, you can trace that Effect back to the things that you have done to Cause it, or the thoughts you have had to Cause it.
But just as you can trace any wanted Effect back to a Cause, so can trace any unwanted Effect back to a specific thought or way of thinking that has produced this unwanted experience.
It has been your choices and your decisions, over the months and years, that have inevitably determined the condition of your life at this moment.
The most wonderful part of this is, that at any time you can start making different choices and different decisions, taking different steps and you will inevitably arrive at a different place, than where you are today.
But, just as much as all success, happiness and achievement comes from conforming to these principles, so will all failure, unhappiness and underachievement come from failing to conform to these laws.
And, the only reason that you will fail to apply the Law of Attraction, especially while using all the right techniques, is that they have some Limiting Beliefs about yourself.
What do I mean by Limiting Beliefs?
These are what I call the Law of Attraction Blockers, and will usually manifest themselves in emotions like Fear, Worry, Insecurity, Frustration, Disappointment, Anger, Sadness or any other Negative Emotion you care to express.
However, these limiting beliefs may not be conscious beliefs that you are aware of. They can
just as easily be subconscious ideas that you hold, that you subconsciously use to protect yourself.
In your question you say that, “My heart got horribly broken 10 years ago when my last relationship came to an end (my partner at the time leaving very unexpectedly). I was very deeply in love with this man...”
You were very deeply in love with this man and your heart was horribly broken when he left you very unexpectedly.
I am sure that the pain of a broken heart is something that you carry with you now, if only as a memory.
So what is memory, and could this memory of pain be a limiting belief that you carry with you now?
Our memory is the grouping of common brain cells. This grouping of brain sells also gives us our learned behaviour, it allows us to walk, talk, run, write, sing, in fact any learned activity we do, seemingly without thinking. But it goes much deeper than that; every bodily function and every aspect of our personality is in the wiring of these groups of brain cells.
From the day of your birth you started to make use of your senses, collecting data, analysing and testing. You started to recognise smell, sound, taste and sites and form Neuron Circuits to help you identify these things again. Was the smell good, how did I react to that taste, was this sound pleasant and did this look nice.
And, whatever the reaction was the first time around, will probably be the same again, the circuit is formed, the cells are structured, the brain is wired.
The wiring of habit, pattern or memory into your brain is a two-step process, beginning with a process of learning. This is the action of the objective or conscious mind, testing, retesting and programming data.
The second step takes place once all the data has been passed, and all responses verified, this is then belief, we know the fact to be true and the response to be appropriate and we then pass the fact to the subjective or subconscious mind, to be programmed in biologically.
But there is quite a biological flaw with our outstandingly clever bodies.
Wiring facts into our brain means that we can achieve and remember almost anything. The analysis of data, testing of response and the programming of our circuits seems a flawless system, but there is one big, giant monster of a stumbling block.
What happens if the data was wrong and the response defective or inappropriate?
To your subconscious, being very deeply in love with someone causes pain, and it is not surprising that you would find it very difficult to feel this sort of love again.
But this does not mean that he is the wrong man for you, it’s just that you got the wrong circuit wired up.
So how do you re-wire your brain?
In your case, as your limiting beliefs are down to the heartache caused by another, the most obvious way to release the heartache, would be to release the other.
You need to let go of your past boyfriend. Let go of the love, and the pain, as they are to closely intertwined, and the very best way to let go of him, and what he has caused, would be to forgive him. To release him from any cause of suffering you have had, and allow him, and ultimately yourself to move forward.
To do this, complete the steps in Chris Dines book, Heal Your Unconscious Pain. They are easy to follow, extremely effective and will not take to much time.Click Here To Read Heal Your Unconscious Pain
it is written in pdf, so you’ll need Adobe Reader
to read it (you should have it on your PC).
EFT is another easy to use technique, and can be used to tackle emotional issues like this.
My favourite site is Try It On Everything
. Just follow the link to the Try It On Everything website, and download the free eBook on left hand side of the site.
While you are dealing with these subconscious beliefs, I would also recommend that you spend some time focusing on the best aspects of your relationship now.
You will find it very productive to list the very best of what you feel about your now relationship, and to use this list as a focus to what you are grateful for now.
Spend some time each day, quietly contemplating the best of what you have, and whenever any thoughts come up that contradict your best of now experience, repeat your list.
Switch your attention from what this relationship lacks, to what this relationship has, and as you do, you will align yourself to more experiences within this relationship, that make you feel good.
If you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…