Use The Law of Attraction To Find A Relationship

by Jackie Gonzalez
(Miami, Fl, USA)

I have known about the Law of Attraction for about two years and always kept it in the back burner for whenever I needed it, because I was pretty happy with the direction my life was going.

6 months ago I was introduced to a man who I thought was the man of my dreams, everything I have ever wanted in a man he possessed. However he also lives states away and had a child with another women. We worked on our relationship very hard and saw each other whenever possible. I have to admit it bothered me that he has a child, not because he would always be responsible for her and have to father the child, but because another women had gotten to him first and now there is always a "problem" because I know this other women will always be there, and I wont be his top priority.

In addition, my parents were unaware of this child and he had a problem with that, but I promised him by our next meeting (which would have been next week), I will let my parents know the truth about his daughter.

A month ago he decided that I had taken too long in telling my parents and completely shut me out of his life. I used the Law of Attraction and got him to speak to me again, but it was a back and forth game of, "lets work this out I still love you" and, "sorry I just cant get over this" (by the way during these fights I told my family about his child but apparently to him I was too late)

Now I'm heartbroken, I have accepted the fact that his daughter was his number one priority that I was just the women to fill the void of not seeing his little girl. I know he was the man of my dreams but I’m at the point where I don’t want him back because I saw his true colors, and I know this will always bother me in the future if we were to continue.

My question or advice to you is what can I do to

1. Attract the perfect man (man of my dreams)

2. Help me over this "hump" about my ex boyfriend so I can continue on with my life and find a better man

3. How to stay positive so I can let the universe do its job so I don’t have to worry about the How? Where? When? My perfect man will come.

I thank you so much for you time and your advice in moving on with my life and bettering myself.

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

To begin with, I think I need to clear something up for you.

The Law of Attraction is not something you can pick up and use when you feel like, as its name would suggest, this is Law, and as a Law it is at work for everyone and at all time.

Basically, the Law of Attraction aligns our experiences based on our thoughts and feelings. Whether we want that experience or not, or whether we know how it works or not.

So this is not something that you can keep on the back burner. Yes you can choose not to deliberately apply the Law of Attraction, and when things are going well, and the thoughts and feelings you have are constructive, there is no need to analyse to deeply.

But as you experience the contrast of what is, and you experience the things you like, as well as the things you don’t like, it will always be advantageous to be aware of your thoughts and feelings, and to adjust them to the things of your liking, not your disliking, so that more of your experiences will be a match for what you want.

Indeed this is why, even with an awareness of the Law of Attraction, but with an unawareness of your thoughts and feelings, these events haven’t gone exactly as you would have wanted them.

You were going along in your life with, pretty much, positive and constructive thoughts and feelings. Your experience was happy, thus your thoughts were happy, which aligned you with more happy experiences. Eventually you were aligned to a man who you thought was the man of your dreams, “everything you have ever wanted in a man he possessed.”

But, instead of aligning with the parts of him that made you happy, you aligned, or thought and felt about, the parts of him that bothered you, the things your were worried, fearful and jealous of.

It is because you harboured these worried, fearful and jealous thoughts and feelings, that your experience became more of an experience to worry about, be fearful of and be filled with more reasons to envy.

In fact, you never once saw his ‘true colors’, what you did see was a reflection of your thoughts and feelings, and if you had only harboured the thoughts and feelings of what you liked best about this man, you would have seen a completely different reflection.

In many ways, your experience goes a long way to answering the questions that you asked.

To attract the perfect man, you must harbour the thoughts and feelings of what being with the perfect man would be like.

To help you over this "hump" about your ex boyfriend, you must harbour the thoughts and feelings of what being over this "hump" would be like.

To help you to stay positive so you can let the universe do its job, you must harbour the thoughts and feelings of what being positive would be like.

You see, to get the things you want, you must align yourself to them, not to the lack of them, or to the things you do not want. And to do this you would align yourself to the best of what you have now, so that a reflection of the best of now can be brought to your tomorrows.

As you said at the beginning of your question, you were pretty happy with the direction your life was going, and those ‘pretty happy’ thoughts and feelings, led you to experience, ‘the man of your dreams.’ So the trick is really, to get pretty happy here and now, and more experiences will come to make you feel more and more happiness.

But, of course, there is more to it than that.

In all of our experiences there is contrast, there are the thing we like and there are the things we don’t like. It is by focusing our thoughts on the things we like, that more likeable things come to us.

But of course, within these new experiences there is still more contrast, there are still things that we don’t like (but less of them), and still things we do like. Again, it is by still focusing our thoughts on the things we like, that more likeable things come to us.

This is a never-ending circle of thought, feeling and creation, and for as long as you focus on the best of the creation, the better the creation will become. But, as soon as you switch your focus onto the unwanted, the creation will become unwanted to.

If you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…


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Comments for Use The Law of Attraction To Find A Relationship

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Jul 02, 2010
'simply' true
by: wantmyhusbandback

You have a wonderful way of explaining all this John - you make it sound so simple - if only we could really grasp the simplicity of it, wouldn't things be just dandy :)

It is all so true though - things that led to my husband and I separating, I now just view from a different perspective, take them with a pinch of salt or don't take them personally and we have managed to re-build or at least start rebuilding a nice friendly (co-parenting) relationship.

I have made it my intention to only see the good in him and do you know what? - that's all I see (even though some of the same 'negative' things are still there).

If only I had known then what I know now eh! :(

Sep 11, 2011
by: Anonymous

John, you wrote: To help you over this "hump" about your ex boyfriend, you must harbour the thoughts and feelings of what being over this "hump" would be like.

What do you mean exactly? For example, she should think how without her bf, she would be able to date other peope, to have more free time for herself, more opportunities for meeting people etc; or do u mean something else? thanks

Sep 12, 2011
by: John Peace

In the context of this question my reply is based on moving on from this relationship, (or ex relationship), and attracting your ideal partner.

On the subject of attracting someone back, you may find this answer helpful

Get Back With My Ex With The Law of Attraction

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