Use The Law of Attraction To Repair A Marriage

by Lulu

I finished the 30 day program 5 days ago and found it very beneficial.

I managed to stabilize my feelings and people have commented that I am more positive. However I am in the middle of a crisis.

Four weeks ago my husband requested a temporary separation and I calmly agreed. The rest of the week was calm and I even felt happy and one day even felt I was on the Nile, where we dreamed of a second honeymoon. The next weekend he asked for a divorce saying there is nothing between us anymore. I stayed calm and tried my best to be positive but I wasn't perfect.

I work alone in my office and see almost no one so it can be easy to brood, and the last 2 weekends he has also repeated he wants a divorce, but I have asked for a separation first.

Last weekend I cracked and was distraught. He told me he wants children and I am now unable to have them. He just got his residence papers. How do I deal with the hurt and resentment- tapping? I want to continue my progress but I feel I am falling into a void.

I have followed your advice about reaching for the best experience of now, but he is withdrawing more and more and spends as little time with me as possible. I try to fill my time, although on the weekends I don't make plans and hang around hoping to spend time with him.

I have listed his many fine qualities and have amazing memories of happier times. I have also read that if I want a loving relationship I should feel it now. I spend really a lot of time thinking of him and sometimes I experience the strong feelings from the past.

Am I trying too hard? Should I fill up my life and travel without him even though I feel his absence, or should I try to think of him less.

Does reaching for the best mean letting go of any hope? Very often when I read the list of his qualities I am sad. If I think of the happy memories I long for those days even though I know I shouldn’t.

I live in a foreign country and have a solitary job.

Thanks for your help

Law-of-Attraction-Guide Reply

The purpose of the 30-Day program is to get you to a point that you look at your reality and see the great things that you have, rather than looking at your experiences and seeing the things you need to alter or change, in order for your reality to become great.

This may seem like strange approach to applying the Law of Attraction, particularly when what you have, is so far removed from what you desire, but in truth, it is the only way of creating the reality you wish to experience.

It was Carl Jung who said, “what you resist persists,” and what he meant by this is, for as long as you resist an experience, that experience, or a similar experience, will persist to become a part of your reality.

In other words, “shout no at something, and that something shall always be there to shout no at.”

This is one of the reasons that the lessons in the 30-Day Law of Attraction program are so important, because they teach you to focus on what is wanted in your current experiences, rather than what is unwanted, that is, they teach you to see and align to good stuff, without resisting the bad stuff, so that in time, the bad stuff will stop persisting.

But because our realities are so intermingled with other people, it does seem as if our desires, wishes and ultimately our happiness, has to rely on these people acting and behaving in a certain way

Of course, it would be easy for us to focus on the best part of what is, if the people who shared our experiences did not do things that made us feel unhappy.

But if we are to live our lives hoping that the people we interact with, only offer us a way of being that makes us happy, does that not take happiness out of our control and firmly place it in the hands of others?

Surely this would make us a victim to the whims of other people’s behavior, and make our happiness the result of other people’s choices, not a decision we make.

It is when people are feeling out of control of their experiences and a victim to circumstances around them, that they will often find and try to apply the Law of Attraction, in the hope that they can change the experiences they are having.

It is by following programs like my own Unlock The Power training in order to master this Law to attract the things they desire, that they will be told to either focus on the best of what you have, in order to attract more best things, or to visualize your desires in order to vibrationaly match your thoughts to the reality of your wishes.

So, it is by focusing on the wanted part of your reality, that more wanted parts align to you, and because our realities are so intermingled with other people, it is not surprising that people try to focus on the parts of certain people who made us unhappy when they behaved in a certain way.

However, as this is a Law, it must apply to all people at all times, and everyone’s experiences will always be a match to their own focused thoughts and feeling, and there is no way that we can focus on another person in the hope that they will change the way they act towards us.

In fact, this would actually be putting your attention on what you didn’t like, as you would need to sift through each experience they offer to you to class it as wanted or unwanted, and my guess is that there will always be stronger thoughts and emotions associated to the unwanted behavior.

And don’t forget, what you resist persists, and as you try to shout no at what this person seems to offer you, that experience, or a similar experience, will persist to become a part of your reality.

So how do you get back to experience true happiness from your reality?

In truth, your happiness does not depend on your reality, it creates it, and exercising your power to create happiness, does not mean that you exercise your power to manipulate the things you have, to coerce them into events that make you happy. Instead it comes from thinking and feeling, and for as long as you continue to think and feel lack within, and to not think and feel happiness, you shall continue to experience lack in the reality you experience.

I started my last paragraph with the words, “In truth,” which to me is the most important part of the whole process.

It is that the truth shall set you free, and when you begin to understand what this means, you can then begin to shed the shackles that hold you in this place of sadness and discomfort.

How can the truth set you free?

The truth can set you free by acceptance. By accepting you reality as it is and letting go of the need to manipulate and coerce the people and events in which you share this experience, in order to change how you feel about it.

The whole essence of my Law of Attraction training WorkBook is based on this acceptance, and as you move through the workbook, the idea is that you accept the truth of your reality as you see it, and not focus and resist the things in your life you do not want.

This does not mean that you focus your thoughts on how good your relationship was, as the was is past, and no longer a part of the present, it means looking at your current reality and focusing on the events, circumstances and people that offer you a positive feeling now.

If it is the truth that he does not want to be with you, then in truth, you have no option but to accept this truth, and no amount of focusing on what you used to have can ever change this reality.

Accept truth, focus on the positive things that you have now, and shine a new light on your now reality, so that you can begin to see the new opportunities that hide behind the blanket of seemingly unwanted experiences.

See the best of what life offers, as it is, without the need to manipulate and orchestrate it into that which it is not. Accept truth, and in doing so you will release these unwanted experiences, allowing them to drift from you, so that you can start to re-create that which you most want to be.

Unfortunately, there is no golden rule to follow to achieve this, but if you practice aligning to the things that happen in your life that please you, as you have been doing in the Law of Attraction training, the process will definitely work. But only if you do this to achieve a better feeling inside, not to achieve a specific reality outside.

Accept your reality as it is, after all, it is what it is, and it is only by accepting reality, not resisting reality, that you can start to focus on happiness within, so that this happiness can be reflected in your reality with-out.

I hope that you have found this information useful, and if you have any thoughts, or if anyone has any thoughts, please join in and add a comment below…


John Peace

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Comments for Use The Law of Attraction To Repair A Marriage

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Jun 21, 2012
missing the point
by: Lulu

Hi John I just saw the answer I didnt realise it was on the net. A very interesting answer. I have been focusing on my husband's good qualities after reading your advice to others - especially those that have already broken up and wish a reconciliation that they should focus on parts of the person they wouldn't change. I feel really stupid that I tried so hard on the 30 day programme but seem to have completely missed the point of it.

What is so ironic is that apart from my good health which I do really appreciate my marriage was the only thing I had which I valued. I have made lists of positives but actually would trade these things in if I could go back to a happier time. In reality I loathe my job and the country I live in no matter how I try to be positive about them these feelings are completely fake - I wonder if by thinking about things I am not genuinely posititive about I am making the situation worse.

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